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These “fortune” bandages are light on predictions and heavy on commentary with statements like “that was dumb” and “sucks to be you” printed on them. A real fortune would be something like “Since you’re an idiot, you’ll hurt yourself today”, or “Buy Neosporin dumbass, you’re gonna need it”. At least then they’ll be imparting valuable information rather than just mocking you from your boo-boo.
Product Page: ($7)
Having watched a lot of people playing Super Mario over the years, the enemies of Mario seem to kick a lot more ass than Mario himself. So if you want to tough out that paper cut with an equally tough bandage, these Nintendo Enemies Bandages would be a good choice. You get Bullet Bill, the Goomba mushroom and the Piranha Plant. Every one a deadly assassin in Nintendo’s world.
Product Page ($2.99, coming in April)
Why use normal bandages when you could cover up that boo-boo with toast, comic strips or monsters? Plus, these come with a free prize inside. It’s like the Cracker Jack of pain and suffering.
Product Page ($5)
These A Christmas Story-themed Band-Aids are perfect for healing your holiday wounds—unless you shoot your eye out with a bb gun. That would require prompt medical attention. The bandages come in three styles: the pink bunny suit, the Red Ryder BB gun and the fragile leg lamp.
Product Page ($6)
Skin your knee? Awww…poor thing. Chicks dig scars but you won’t get any action by telling them that you “fell down and went boom.” At least your bandages will have masculine wounds printed on them.
Product Page ($4)
Is there anything toast can’t do? You can eat it, use it to tell time, offer salvation, rest your head, or even heal your wounds.
Product Page ($4.95)
Here are the top ten Nerd Approved Gadgets for the week of July 28th to August 3rd 2008:
The Dark Knight Projector Keyring : Summon Batman anytime, anywhere.
Fossiliced : Chill your drinks ice age style.
Toilet Roll Puzzle : You will have to rely on your wits if you want to wipe.
Kama Sutra Wall Clocks : Time keeping for nymphomaniacs.
Fireplace Suitcase : It’s portable ambiance.
The next five gadgets are available after the break…
If you are going to be out in this dangerous world, you are going to get hurt. And when you do you won’t want to wear the typical Band Aid. The wound will heal much quicker using these bandages and it will make it feel like you were a lot more manly when you got that paper cut than you actually were. Don’t worry, everyone cries sometimes. The old time Batman TV show used these same types of exclamations to great effect, why shouldn’t you?
Product Page ($4.99)
Wearing the usual Band Aid for a cut is not a great look to go to work with. But, put a Pickle Bandage on it and you may bump yourself up a couple spots on the promotions list. Not only are pickles good food but the fact that you found these just shows good judgement on your part. The free toy that each package comes with should remove any doubts you may have about purchasing a box.
Product Page ($4.95)
Here are the top ten Nerd Approved Gadgets for the week of June 9th to June 15th 2008:
Tickle Me Freud: Tickling the Doctor will improve your mental health.
Big Wave Trampoline: Who is ready for dangerous summer fun?
Swearing Photo Holder: It will have Grandma talking like a sailor.
Russian Stripping Dolls: Is that dude wearing lipstick?
PC Keyboard Salt and Pepper Shakers: Adds a nerdy flavor to any meal.
The next five gadgets are available after the break…
