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As if you needed another reminder that you are getting fat, this toilet paper from Japan not only features measuring tape in centimeters for doing gut checks, it also features suggestions for exercises that you can do while sitting on the pot. Even if you are not into diet and exercise, you can show your displeasure loud and clear one wipe at a time.
Eating it is one thing, but bathing with Ramen noodles takes stretching that meager college budget to whole new levels. Not to worry though, this Ramen won’t leave you smelling like chili lime shrimp—it’s actually liquid soap packaged to look like Ramen. Although, now that I think about it, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was actually scented like your favorite flavors. This is Japan we’re talking about after all.
Product Page ($TBA via AkihabaraNews via Gizmodo)
The Blood Energy Potion was okay tasting, but it falls a bit short if you crave human meat. That problem has been remedied with this bleeding heart gummy candy from Think Geek. Inside each heart is squishy candies full of liquid blood and, for good measure, they have also included a separate vial of blood if things just aren’t messy enough. I suppose it goes without saying, but you should probably wear a bib or a smock when you tear into one of these. Better yet, just stand naked in the bathtub.
Here are the top ten Nerd Approved Gadgets for the week of January 11th-17th, 2010:
Giant Inflatable D20: The D&D nerd’s beach ball.
Magnetic, Floating LED Display: Puts your beer on a pedestal.
Creepsicles / Evil Icecream / Ice Clown: This ice cream is made with pure sugar…and evil.
Resin Bathing Couple Cellphone/Gadget Holder: A bathtub threesome between two matches and your cellphone.
1.0″ LCD Guitar Shaped Car MP3 Player FM Transmitter: Let a guitar bring music to your car.
I say “matches” but, actually, I’m not sure what those things are. All I know is that they have drawn a bath and have plenty of room left for sexy time with your cellphone or MP3 player.
Oh, it’s just an arm that sticks to your bathroom mirror so you can blow dry hands-free. I was hoping it was something else.
Product Page ($30)
Yeah, the 19th century may have created literary masterpieces like “The Prince and the Pauper” and “Great Expectations”, but it’s the 21st century that gave them an anal salute by renaming them “The Prince and the Pooper” and “Great Expellations” for use on boxes of fart-obscuring matches. It may seem like a disservice to the authors at first, but let’s be honest, there are a lot of people out there who would have never heard of these books unless they were associated with blowing the buttock bassoon.
Product Page: (Literary Lites $5)
Product Page: (Literary Lites II $5)
If you take your bathroom time seriously, you need to take a look at the not-so-high tech Crapmaster 3000. It has room for 3 rolls of toilet paper, plenty of magazine storage space and a shelf for your ashtray and beer. It has everything you need to survive the morning after an epic visit to Golden Corral.
Product Page ($110)
From Fashionably Geek: I have two words for you: burrito-vision. That’s right, you will have the power of the burrito—the ability to look at someone and make them fart uncontrollably. Now that’s a superpower.
Also available in brick and sponge versions, which give you the power to…uh, manipulate walls and give sponge baths from a distance?
Your bathroom is a normal place to find a first aid kit and this one is permanently mounted as a medicine cabinet. Use it as any other medicine cabinet to store your prescriptions and toiletries, though if someone goes to grab this first aid kit in an emergency, not only will they likely not find typical first aid kit gear, they will also take a chunk of the wall with it.
Product Page (£29.95, about $49)
