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This “Clock I Can’t See” features numbers hidden in the vast sea of spots à la color blindness tests. This product is also aptly titled since the designer himself is color blind, but that begs the obvious question of how he could design something like this.
Product Page: (£34.99, or about $57.95)
Start out learning with these blocks instead of conventional ones and you may end up as a terrible speller who happens to be able to field strip a machine gun blindfolded…with his ass cheeks. The disassembled gun is pictured after the break.
This is about the fastest way to find out how well someone’s eyes are. If they are guessing random letters then they are blind as a bat. If they are offended and either take a swing at you or storm out of your office then their eyes are 20/20. The more pissed off they are, the better their eyes are.
Product Page ($3.89)
If anti-masturbatory gum hasn’t done the trick for you, try a more direct approach with this Handz Off Cream. This special blend of coconut, buttermilk and vanilla bean will leave your junk silky smooth and it will fight your urges for up to 6 hours. Apply liberally and vigorously to affected areas.
Warning: Do not use handz off anti-masturbatory cream more than ten times per day.Side effects may include hairy palms and blindness. Should abnormal swelling occur, consult a hooker.
Product Page ($9.50)
At first glance, a keyboard brush with the word “brush” spelled out with Braille bristles may seem like a gimmick, but I would be willing to bet that those raised bumps do a good job of getting into hard-to-reach areas. Still, even if the brush isn’t a gimmick, it is sure as hell priced like one.
Product Page ($80)
Keep your drinks cool and your food warm. It’s the ultimate camping accessory for your more civilized adventurer. I don’t own one, but I can give you a piece of advice: give that grill plenty of time to cool off before you pack it up to go because “only you can prevent forest fires”.
Product Page ($48.50)
Who needs to spend thousands of dollars on overpriced therapists when for only $7.95 at giftapolis you can make those annoyances just disappear. Every good marriage could use these every now and then. Just be cautious, you may be able to hide the ear plugs, but the blindfold could be a bit obvious. Useful for single people who make bad choices at last call as well.
A week ago, Bungie posted details on the Mongoose ultra-light ATV in Halo 3. Today they have followed that up with a complete list of details on the MA5C Assault Rifle.
From the Bungie Website:
Excerpt from long-term, in-field interview with the soldiers of E2-BAG/1/7.
MA5C Individual Combat Weapon System
Official designation: MA5C
Length (o/a): 88 cm (34.6 in.)
Length (barrel): 60.7 cm (24 in.)
Weight (empty): 3.8 kg (8.378 lbs)
Weight (loaded): 4.1 kg (9.05 lbs)
Cartridge: 7.62mm x 51 FMJ
Max. effective range: 300 meters (984 ft)
Muzzle velocity: 905 m/s (2970 f/s)
Magazine capacity: 32 rounds
Rate of fire: 750 – 900 rnds/min
Unit Replacement cost: 1686.00
Description:
The MA5C 7.62mm rifle is an air-cooled, gas-operated, magazine fed weapon designed for automatic fire. The weapon has an attached electronics suite that provides information on rounds remaining in magazine, compass heading, as well as several other “housekeeping” functions.
More details after the break.
At this point, just about everyone on the planet is aware of the ability the Wii-mote possesses to inflict property damage and lifelong psychological scars. However, this is the first time I have encountered a serious physical injury attributed to the Nintendo Wii. As you can see, it is a beauty.
“After guzzling a copious amount of ‘wife beater’ (Stella Artois) – I returned home to find the girlie in mid battle with a Zelda ‘Boss’. In my inebriated state, it was instinctual to become her knight in shining armour. I proceeded to take the controllers off her and fight the beast myself.
Unfortunately, my courage was far greater then my skill. Having taken a good kicking, Liz then tried to intervene with disastrous results. She approached me from the side, appearing from my blind spot, whilst I was performing a slashing movement. I hit her with full force right in her eye!”
It’s a good thing that the girlfriend seems to be a good sport about this whole thing because if it were me, I would have crammed the Wii-mote up that dude’s butthole. And that, my friends, would have definitely been the most serious Wii related injury to date.
The first reviews of the Nintendo Wii have been released and the major question is, does Nintendo’s decision to sacrifice graphics for innovative gameplay and an affordable sticker price pay off?
PC Magazine: (4 out of 5) “Let’s get this out of the way first: the Wii’s graphics look terrible compared with the competition. But within about a half hour of playing games on Nintendo’s revolutionary Wii, you won’t care. This new game console transcends visuals to deliver the most satisfying game play, for a wide range of gamers, than either the Xbox 360 or the PlayStation 3.”
CNET: (8.0 out of 10) “Is the Wii worth picking up? It all depends on what you’re looking for. If you’ve been clamoring for an all-purpose next-generation multimedia box with blinding HD graphics, the Wii will be a disappointment. But Nintendo was never competing in that arena anyway: the Wii is focused squarely on delivering fun and innovative gameplay, leaving Sony and Microsoft to battle it out at the high end. The Wiimote and its motion-sensing, pseudo-virtual-reality controls are the biggest draws of the console, and its online capabilities, Wii Channels, Virtual Console, and GameCube backward-compatibility are just a thick, sweet layer of icing on an already tasty cake. With a price tag of just $250–far less than those of its competitors–and the included Wii Sports disc that provides mindless fun out of the box, the Nintendo Wii won’t disappoint.”
I4U: (8.0 out of 10) “Serious gaming enthusiasts can subtract about 0.2-0.5 points from our official review score for the first six months. But come late 2007, you can add that back and then some. A fantastic effort that you’ll have to try firsthand to believe, the Wii finally sees Nintendo return to form. And, potentially, as the company’s claimed it’s planned on doing for quite some time now, light the spark that could ignite an entire game industry revolution.”
Product Information:
Price: $250
Click here for system specifications.
Website: wii.nintendo.com
Bottom Line: I am really impressed with Nintendo’s strategy regarding the Wii. Let Microsoft and Sony duke it out with hardware while we focus on entertaining and innovative gameplay at a more affordable price. Differentiation is the cornerstone of any marketing strategy – and so far it appears to be paying off.
I consider myself a hardcore gamer, a demographic not usually associated with Nintendo. But I have to admit that I was more intrigued by the Wii than any other console released this year. I’ve been exposed to the kind of gameplay that the 360 and the PS3 offer for years now – I know what to expect. That is not the case with the Wii, and that is what I find interesting. However, I would still like to see Nintendo live up to their promises and offer a deeper commitment to the hardcore gamer this time around.
