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There is no reason to feel that your manliness is diminished because you choose to burn a few tea lights around your house. Especially if that small amount of heat is what this candle holding guy needs to keep himself from freezing to death. Would have been even better if he was toasting s’mores.
Product Page (TBA)
Just because you hate fruit doesn’t mean you can’t find a suitable place for it in your home. You can always impale it with this candle holder and watch it rot away by candlelight while you eat Ding Dongs and Ho-Hos. Then at the very end you can finish it off by yelling “And take your friggin’ vitamins with you!”
Product Page: ($24, currently on sale for $21.60)
Either of these disembodied hands will do a fine job holding your candles, allowing you to have your candlelight without hot wax dripping onto your skin. And when no candles are around, you have a nice thumbs up decoration with one hand, while the other looks like it is doing something a bit more risque.
Product Page (£5.00, about $8)
While looking like a victim of the Midas touch will certainly be a drawback in battle, this 18″ ultraviolence big army guy is still armed to the teeth and can even swap out his weapons with interchangeable hands should an open-handed bitch slap be in order.
Product Page: ($200)
This 9″ “distorted gourd” candle holder will cast the eerie glow of two different jack o’ lantern faces which appear to be frozen in mid-suck as if they’re being pulled up by some unseen force. However that will probably pale in comparison to the terror of trying to get a lit candle inside one of these.
Product Page: ($16.99 Coming Soon)
Birthday coming up? Light Bites offer a fork/candle holder combo which allows instant cake access without having to search for silverware, saving you those precious seconds between when the blowing ends and the eating begins (there’s my innuendo for the day). However, there’s still the obligatory waiting period while the candles burn and people sing and take pictures, which will no doubt result in you having to eat waxy cake with a hot, waxy utensil… Delish!
Product Page: (£8, or about $13.50)
What separates a rich man from a hobo? When a rich man sits on a 50 gallon drum it has cushions, swanky European brand names, and falls into the “recycled” category. And oh yeah, he gets to pay $417 for the privilege. An additional design is pictured after the break.
You can turn your votive burning nights from a bit effeminate into very cool when you use this Cauldron Votive Holder based on the Harry Potter movies. It may just be buying into the hype that is Harry Potter, but you don’t need to say exact what the cauldron is based on. It is just a cool way to burn candles.
Product Page (£17.99, about $30 available July 17)
Getting ready to join a lodge? You’ll fit right in when you take your shots out of a glass that has a pewter animal head attached to it. You can choose from a Bull, Bear, Moose, Deer or Rhinoceros that will balance on their nose, ears and horns when flipped. The product page says they can also be used as candle holders, paperweights or simply decoration. No doubt putting a vanilla scented candle in one of these babies will distract you from the wood paneled walls, stains and darkness that define the lodge experience.
Product Page: ($32)
Where is it you always see a group of people hanging around a 55 gallon oil barrel with a fire inside of it? It is when there is a group of homeless people in an alley in the middle of a city. So this Porcelain Barrel Candle Holder is really urban chic. Just be sure you have some ratty clothes on and a scraggly beard growing if you want the full effect.
Product Page ($23)
