Ahh St. Patrick’s Day. A day where an Irish guy like me can drink and fight and call it “festive.” If you are going to party, you need to come prepared. The following drinking vessels may be weird—but they will certainly get the job done.
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It is bad enough that the damn gnome hunters will steal your flamingos, ride local animals in your yard or use your lawn as a launching pad for their rocket adventures, but now they may have gone a little too far. Once they start drinking up all your fine wine it may be time to start getting serious about ridding yourself of gnomes the old fashioned way.
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Wow, 2008 has been one hell of a year. It was the year we elected our first African American President. The year Michael Phelps won 8 Olympic golds. The year the economy faced near collapse. And, of course, it was the year we discovered a poop frisbee and a Sith Lord Toaster. But, as you will see from the list after the break, that’s not all the crazy crap we found.
If you are tired of all your lawn ornaments disappearing, there are really only two possibilities. One is the neighborhood kids and two is those damn Gnome Be Gones. Since there is only so much you can do with a neighbor’s child, send the Gnome Be Gone to the moon. If you still have a problem, just tell those bratty little kids that they are next.
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It is one thing if all your gnomes are taken away, quite another if they start picking on your flamingos. If your garden is overrun with small creatures then maybe you should let this Flamingo-Away take care of you problems. No Gnomes to deal with, which can only be a plus, which leaves only the homeowners associations to deal with. And I can’t imagine them throwing this gem away.
Product Page ($124.99)
didn’t think that anything could surpass the flamingo beer bong in terms of sheer drinking weirdness, but that was before I stumbled upon Caulkshots. Using the recharge kit, you simply combine gelatin with your favorite alcohol and pour the mixture into the caulking tube. After an 8 hour stint in the fridge you have 12 gelatin shots that can be dispensed using a standard caulk gun.
A video available after the break illustrates the process using the infinite marketing power of an attractive woman sucking on a tube of caulk. Enjoy!
When you not only have a pink flamingo in your lawn but you also have outfits to dress it in for every occasion during the year then you know that it is time for you to find a hobby. And I wouldn’t consider dressing up plastic birds as a legitimate hobby. Your neighbors will thank me.
Product Page ($24)
The Flabongo is “the first and only beer bong constructed from a plastic flamingo.” Impressive. If you live in Florida you probably have a potential party bong on every lawn in your neighborhood.
Product Page ($24.98)
This Singing Flamingo is one way to be sure people aren’t crowding you down at the beach this summer. They may think you are odd bringing your pink flamingo with nerdy glasses and horrendous shorts to the beach, but the tenth time they hear it singing “You Are My Sunshine” they will be leave your area like you have leprosy.
Product Page ($29.98)
If your homeowners association doesn’t like pink flamingo lawn decorations, just think how they will feel about this Skel-E-Flamingo. These things look like pink flamingos that have been left out for far too long. Great for any time of year, skeletal birds never get old.
Product Page ($16.95)
