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As if you needed another sign that society is headed in the wrong direction, take the stupid products people spend their money on. Every year they get stupider and stupider, but we are right there to spend our hard earned dollar. Why? Because poop never stops being funny and it’s hard to resist a “limited edition.” So, without further ado, here is Part I of the epic master list of the stupidest products of 2009.
Since today is that special day, it’s time to take a look back and list the top ten Halloween related products posted on Nerd Approved in the past year. Enjoy!
Blood Energy Potion: A taste test review.
Zombie Head: Sustains itself with it’s own eyeball juices.
Glowing Body Parts: Illuminate your walkway.
Creepy Toilet Paper Holder: I think your toilet paper is haunted.
Ghost Mirror: Gives you a glimpse into old age.
Under most circumstances, hanging a flashlight from the ceiling would be about as ghetto as you could get with regard to interior lighting. However, these are made of porcelain so, all of a sudden, it’s avant garde.
Product Page ($42)
A flashlight is a useful thing to have around the house for any power outages you may have. Since this kitty flashlight can be recharged by just squeezing the handle, there is no need to have it constantly charged up and ready to go. It’s like the Space Kitty knows what you will need in the future.
Product Page ($11.99)
Your chosen deity already directs you in life, so having a deity shaped flashlight just feels right. If you trust him with your life’s direction, you can trust him to illuminate the crap on the floor you need to avoid in the dark. Available in your choice of B00duh or Jeebus.
Product Page ($5)
Don’t let this charming little flower lamp fool you. One click of the button on the bottom and the torch underneath with eliminate any monsters that may be lurking under your child’s bed or in their closet. When not in use as a weapon, the lamp can be turned on and off by pressing down on the flower. An additional image is available after the break.
Here are the top ten Nerd Approved Gadgets for the week of April 6th-12th, 2009:
Calf Plush Home Gadget Bag Barrel: Crying calf gadget cup is completely absurd.
Heat Sensitive Monkey: Has a color-changing perm.
Spooky Tumblers: Your booze is haunted.
Giant Star Trek Spock Peel and Stick Wall Graphic: Finally, Leonard Nimoy can creepily stare back at you as you sleep!
DIY Art Car Kits: Add to your car’s hideousness.
Need some hands free lighting? How about pushing those boring conventional flashlights aside and lighting up your junk with three ultra bright LEDs and a tuft of pink pubes courtesy of this Playazon Merkin Flashlight? You can rename your genitals “Crotch Cousteau” and allow them to blaze an uncharted path from the bed to the bathroom without waking your partner. Plus you get a second set of forbidden fur in “Arctic White” for you older folk who want the carpet to match the drapes. Yup, crotch lighting is all about inclusion.
Product Page: ($45)
No, this isn’t a cigarette lighter that hangs from your cellphone, it’s actually just a LED flashlight. Why it is shaped like a pipe with a cigarette dangling from it is beyond me.
Product Page ($5)
This ladybug or “Ladybird” as it were, will integrate with flash drives, SD card readers (upt to 4GB) and 5-pin data cable. It also features a UV light that can be used as a flashlight or a means of detecting counterfeit money. And the best part is that you can take her home for only $10. Careful though, I doubt she even uses protection.
Product Page ($10)
