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Since we still have a day to squeeze in those last few Halloween related products, here’s a skull chair, spine lamp and what appears to be a brain ottoman, which must have been removed from the skull in order to make way for ass. I guess it could also be an intestine cube, but who cares? Either way you’ll have a place to put your feet up.
Product Page: (Availability Unknown)
If you want to ensure that your daughter follows a path that starts at spoiled little shit and moves on to egomaniacal bitch who’s totally out of touch with reality, then a good starting point would be getting her this bed which resembles Cinderella’s coach and happens to cost as much as a luxury car. It’ll come in handy later when she uses it to mow down anyone who stands in her way or accuses her of having ever ripped a fart that didn’t delight the senses and turn the air into solid gold.
Product Page: (Starts at $47,000)
To the wealthy and refined, this is unique lighting on the cutting edge of functional contemporary art, and well worth the $4,320 price tag. To everyone else, it’s an image of what you’d get if a caterpillar had sex with a zipper in a pile of nuclear waste. This is how comic book characters are born, people.
Product Page: ($4,320)
Come bask in the glow of this global warming light and get a head start on world geography as it will appear after cow farts and man’s burning of fossil fuels turn the world’s glaciers into 200 extra feet of ocean water. But don’t get too confident, because if it all turns out to be a gigantic crock of shit you may find yourself standing in front of your teacher blaming Al Gore for your inability to recognize any coastal states.
Product Page: ($390)
Here are the top ten Nerd Approved Gadgets for the week of June 8th-14th 2009:
Chair Socks: The 1970’s flatter your furniture.
Magic Fingers: Protects your car door.
Orange Mutant Boy: Reads on toilet, nods approvingly.
Trout Cowboys:Dr. Strangelove gets even stranger.
Colorblock Note Cube: Bears a funny resemblance to a device invented by Mr. Rubik.
This dining set brings all new meaning to pool furniture. You might assume that the furniture you buy for your pool would sit outside of it, but that is exactly where you are wrong. This set has holes in their frames that will fill with water so they don’t float away. Now you can enjoy your favorite meal and drink without ever leaving the coolness of the shallow end.
Product Page ($979.95)
God knows why, but now you can put socks on your chair legs with these special chair socks and make your furniture look like a golfer, a 1980’s valley girl, or a kid from the 1970’s with the stereotypical three ring socks pulled up as high as they can go. Plus, they may or may not work to style up peg legs. Additional designs are pictured after the break.
Bound to bring an aura of sophistication and rebellion to any room is this “bad table”, which aside from the beautiful sloping woodwork, comes complete with it’s own super strong stream of piss. Now I’m sure many of you would be willing to fork over the $2,920 just to have a table answering nature’s call in your living room, but don’t be surprised when it sets the example for kids and pets. You may end up being accused of favoritism since the table is allowed to freely piss in the rug without retribution while Rover still can’t free a hostage on the linoleum. Just sayin…
Product Page: ($2,920)
This desk reminds me of something that those financial geniuses on Wall Street might buy for themselves. It is unique and expensive. Since the Mayans are known for having the only fully developed written language in the America’s before Columbus landed, it only makes sense for them to have a desk based on their culture. Just think how cool it would be to have this thing in your office when some underling comes in. Of course, us underlings are not that easily impressed.
Product Page ($4999)
If every waking second of your life is spent listening to rockabilly music, driving hot rods and covering everything you own with flames and pairs of dice, you are the perfect candidate for this engine coffee table, designed specifically to get people like you to part with $2,900. With it’s carburator and brass knuckle center piece and soft black leather covering adorned with tattoos, this is one coffee table you can bring home without feeling like a huge pussy.
Product Page: ($2,900)
