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Fred Conlon’s Gnome Be Gone statues have been protecting your gardens and wine, now he is making that same level of protection available to your cubicle. And being an ever vigilant sentry is not his only duty, he will also hold your business cards and a single pen/pencil. Just beware those razor sharp teeth when putting your fingers anywhere near him, I somewhat doubt this guy is OSHA approved.
Product Page ($69.99)
Some creatures just don’t have any respect for your garden full of statues, gnomes in particular. This Wrecking Ball Garden Sculpture has just one purpose and that is to leave no other sculpture standing. He will leave no stone unturned to destroy all others, it is just who he is. Since it is made of recycled military-surplus steel and a reclaimed army helmet used during WWII, it is an environmentally friendly product as well.
Product Page ($330)
It is bad enough that the damn gnome hunters will steal your flamingos, ride local animals in your yard or use your lawn as a launching pad for their rocket adventures, but now they may have gone a little too far. Once they start drinking up all your fine wine it may be time to start getting serious about ridding yourself of gnomes the old fashioned way.
Product Page ($70)
With all the talk of green alternatives for transportation, maybe you should put this gnome out in your garden to demonstrate a simple earth saving strategy. Riding bunnies may not be the answer to the current woes we have, certainly the bunnies hope not, but at least it shows that the gnomes are working on some new ideas.
Product Page ($22.49)
If you are dealing with a gnome infestation, a gruesome trap like this one may be the only solution to the situation. The device is just like a traditional bear trap except, in this case, a watering can serves as “bait.”
Product Page ($35)
If you are tired of all your lawn ornaments disappearing, there are really only two possibilities. One is the neighborhood kids and two is those damn Gnome Be Gones. Since there is only so much you can do with a neighbor’s child, send the Gnome Be Gone to the moon. If you still have a problem, just tell those bratty little kids that they are next.
Product Page ($250)
Here are the top ten Nerd Approved Gadgets for the week of August 25th to the 31st 2008:
Happy Dreaming Pillowcase: Cash, cars, sex and money. Looks about right to me.
Unit Circle (Radian) Wall Clock: A trig nerd timekeeper.
Dead Gnomes: Your garden gnome commits hara-kiri.
Handheld Gaydar: Does “maybe” mean bi?
The Pirate Mug: Coffee, sugar and LEDs.
The next five gadgets are available after the break…
Rather than live a life of shame as a lowly garden gnome, this proud little elf was forced to commit “hara-kiri,” or ritualistic suicide. And he did it with a smile on his face.
Sad.
Creepy.
Product Page (£17 or $31)
It is one thing if all your gnomes are taken away, quite another if they start picking on your flamingos. If your garden is overrun with small creatures then maybe you should let this Flamingo-Away take care of you problems. No Gnomes to deal with, which can only be a plus, which leaves only the homeowners associations to deal with. And I can’t imagine them throwing this gem away.
Product Page ($124.99)
Put a man and a woman together with a bottle of wine and you can end up with some pretty crazy scenarios. Maybe not quite to the level of getting their naked, intertwined bodies stuck in the wine bottle, but you can hope things at least get as far as the naked part.
Product Page (£4.99, about $10)
