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fruit candle holderJust because you hate fruit doesn’t mean you can’t find a suitable place for it in your home. You can always impale it with this candle holder and watch it rot away by candlelight while you eat Ding Dongs and Ho-Hos. Then at the very end you can finish it off by yelling “And take your friggin’ vitamins with you!”

Product Page: ($24, currently on sale for $21.60)

table-works

After fighting your way through construction zones to get back home, the last thing you probably want to see on the dining room table is traffic cones. The one advantage to these is that rather than choking off much needed traffic lanes, they steer each person to the correct seat. These also have the advantage of not being large enough for the drunkards to wear them as a hat after a few too many.

Product Page (£5.49, about $9.14, expected 11/27)

man-card-holder

Without even reading your business card, people will get the sense that you are a force to be reckoned with. Either that, or you have a thing for muscular 1920s strongmen.

Product Page ($45)

voodoo-pen-holder

The Voodoo Pen Holder is not quite as frightening as the Voodoo Knife Holder, but you may have a tough time convincing your HR rep that you have a good reason to keep a set of sharp knives in your cube. Even without the knives, this Voodoo holder should give anyone who is thinking about stealing a pen good reason to prey on someone other than you. Whether they are afraid of a possible Voodoo curse or the mental image of a pen through their head gives them the idea you get violent if your stuff gets stolen, it should push potential thieves to look elsewhere in their search for a proper victim. The holder comes complete with six pens and the stab wounds to hold them.

Product Page ($59.59)

nerd-approved-products-tm.jpg

Here are the top ten Nerd Approved Gadgets for the week of November 9th-15th, 2009:

Reindeer Toilet Seat Cover And Antlers Set: This is what happens to reindeer that don’t make Santa’s team.

Toilet Sound Blocker: Maintains your dignity.

Santa Pants Wine Bottle Holders: Santa has something in his pants for you.

iPhone Decals: Give your phone a serious downgrade.

Burger Sponge: Rub-a-dub-dub, I’m bathing with burgers in the tub.

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hand-candle-holders

Either of these disembodied hands will do a fine job holding your candles, allowing you to have your candlelight without hot wax dripping onto your skin. And when no candles are around, you have a nice thumbs up decoration with one hand, while the other looks like it is doing something a bit more risque.

Product Page (£5.00, about $8)

santa-pants-wine

The recipient will love the two bottles of wine you give them but will love the Santa Pants wine bag even more. They may actually pause for two seconds to admire it before tossing it aside to get at the alcohol.

Product Page ($9.99)

stag toothbrush holderJust because you aren’t into hunting doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the functional and space saving advantages offered up by a severed deer head. When you have this stag suction cupped to your mirror offering eight points of toothbrush storage and a mouth with an easily accessible tube of Colgate, you’ll understand a hunter’s true motivation.

Product Page: ($8.99)

pen-recycle-bin

This mini recycling bin pen holder will make you look environmentally conscious without having to do a damn thing. If there is one thing that we can all agree on it is that getting credit for doing basically nothing is a beautiful thing.

Product Page (£1.74, about $2.85)

myegg_soldiers

Egg and soldiers is a fine way to start your day, and this little set turns those soldiers into cavalry and the egg cup into a castle. It is difficult to tell if the castle turret egg holder is his home or his next conquest—you can decide that for yourself each and every morning.

Product Page (£22.35, about $36)