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It can be hard to cram all of your hunting magazine subscriptions into a standard mailbox, which is why the serious outdoorsman should consider stepping up to this giant shotgun shell version. Plus, it sends a clear message to horny teenage boys that may call on your daughter late at night.
Product Page ($98)
She’s big, she’s horny and she will rock your world. Just clap your hands and watch the bed vibrate and wobble as Lusha goes to town on this poor guy. You can see that this guy has enough strain on him to wrinkle all his skin up. But honestly, he doesn’t look like he is crying out for it to stop.
Product Page ($14.95)
If your amorous activities in bed end up in what resembles more of a wrestling match than lovemaking, then maybe you could use a little help. This Karmasheetra is a sheet that gives you numbered positions for your hands, knees, feet and bottoms. That way each person will easily find the optimal position. Each of the various positions has been tested extensively for your maximum kama sutra-like pleasure. The maker of the sheet does not claim that, but I have to make that assumption. Who wouldn’t want to do some testing with it?
Product Page (£19.95, about $40)
If working with all those vegetables is getting you hot, that would be an excellent time to have the Horny Corn Vibrator available. You even have your choice of produce: the Horny Corn pictured here, Big Banana and Eggplant Ecstasy. All very colorful and somewhat inconspicuous. If they work as good as they look you are in for a treat.
Product Page ($11.20)
Dress up and have a little inside joke with those in the know with these cuff-links. People hardly notice cuff-links at all, and what are the odds that they will see both? This way you can wear your Horny Devil on your sleeves and, other than yourself and a couple other confidants, no one will know. A little less obvious than the Spam Hat.
Product Page (£12.00, about $25)
Call me crazy, but I don’t think giving your dog biscuits shaped like penises is such a great idea. It won’t be long before they go after some real tube steak.
Also available in a tits and ass shaped “Horny Hound” variety.
Product Page: Horny Bitch or Horny Hound ( $5.99 )
