Will you be the coolest person at the bar when you break out this tool case, pull out the drill and give that lady the light she was looking for? Well, not cool like James Bond. More like Bob Vila.
Product Page ($10)
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You are going to need to make some money off this roulette wheel lighter to continue being able to afford your ever more expensive cigarettes. Every time you strike up the lighter, the lights on the roulette wheel spin around and end up on one of the numbers. Take some bets and hope your luck holds out long enough for the house edge to guarantee you some winnings.
Product Page ($6.99)
This miniature gas cylinder bank will save all of your change so you will have some money when summer grilling season comes around. Its true purpose as a bank is disguised with a little misdirection—unless a thief is jonesing for a quick smoke they won’t give the odd object labeled as a lighter a second look as they ransack your apartment.
Product Page ($11.69)
Apparently it isn’t enough of an insult to crustaceans to eat them for dinner, now you have to use a likeness of a crab to hold the melted butter. If seafood dipped in butter weren’t so damn tasty it might be considered a little over the top.
Product Page ($31.98)
Here are the top ten Nerd Approved Gadgets for the week of December 7th-13th, 2009:
New Feature: Show us your stupidest, nerdiest toys and gadgets.
Ultimate R2-D2 Statue: Comes with bells, whistles (and a periscope, saw, gripper…)
Guillotine Ornament: Festively morbid.
Handmade Felt Mice: Your favorite nerdy movie roles, played by mice on a Christmas tree.
Flip Book Sticky Notes: Avoid unnecessary messaging.
Judging from the product description, it’s obvious that nobody wanted to fess up to the fact that they’re selling a gas lighter that looks a lot like a phallus. However, it will come in handy if you want to produce a public awareness ad focused on preventing promiscuous sex. All you have to do is take this lighter and say “This is your penis” then set it ablaze and say “This is your penis on the clap….Any questions?”
Product Page: ($24)
You may be surprised to learn that besides getting these awesome lighter shaped candles for your favorite smokers birthday cake, you will also need to get one that actually works to light them. Seems like a lot of duplication and a failing on the part of the manufacturer. It couldn’t cost them much to add one working lighter with the pack.
Product Page ($8.95)
This “forest gump” table set proves that much like life, salt and pepper shakers are also like a box of chocolates. One minute you’re blissfully unaware that two thermoplastic resin trees and a boar filled with toothpicks even existed. Then you spot this product, and all of a sudden you’re filled with an unquenchable desire to turn your dinner table into a functional wildlife diorama, and your wallet instantly becomes $53 lighter…That’s how they getcha.
Product Page: ($53)
This rubber fetch ball gives your dog a long, luxurious handlebar mustache. Of course, this also gives you the opportunity to rename the dog “Sir Reginald Higginsbottom III” and outfit him with a vest, pocket watch and monocle. Dreams really do come true. An additional image is available after the break.
Besides the obvious dangers of fire, this crab claw lighter looks like it would do some serious ball poking in your pocket.
Product Page ($8)
