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Sorry, I don’t think little strips of toilet paper will stop the bleeding on a severed jugular. But I’ll be dammed if shaving with a butterfly knife straight razor isn’t masculine. In fact, the only way you could get more rugged is with a chainsaw, or maybe burning off that beard with a flamethrower. But I digress.
Fortunately for everyone, this is only a concept.
If you are extremely progressive, or you just dont have the balls to talk to your kids about the birds and the bees, these mobiles will start the educational process right away. The first explains the equipment, and the second (pictured after the break) illustrates what happens when the equipment is put to good use. It may seem inappropriate, but consider this: if you don’t teach your kids, the internet will.
Some people find security in a blanket, a teddy bear or a special article of clothing. Tomorrow’s mass murderers find comfort from their twisted visions with the Cuddleskull pillow. Each limited edition, handmade pillow comes with a two color serigraph and a sticker.
Product Page ($50)
Think lipstick is a girlie product? Then I guess you haven’t checked out this very cool letter opener. Call it effeminate, but the blade on this thing looks more masculine than most men I know. The lipstick is just a convenient cover story.
Product Page ($5.99)
If you’re a man who loves crystal but doesn’t want to put a Disney character, dolphin or ballerina sculpture on your desk, say hello to the crystal Colt .45 Peacemaker. You won’t have to worry about your masculinity when you combine your favorite medium with the most famous firearm of the old west. Add an old wagon wheel, some Roy Rogers album covers, and the crystal cowboy boot pictured after the break and you’ll feel more like you’re in a western themed steakhouse than your office.
Bring your love of automobiles into your living room without creating a greasy mess. This Suspension Table Light has the whole suspension system as part of its design: a shock, A arm and disc brake rotor with pad. If a masculine look is what you are after, you can’t get much more testosterone filled than this.
Product Page (£89.00, about $127)
Ever since we first laid eyes on the circular saw pizza slicer by Fred&Friends, we were anxiously awaiting the day that we could cut a swath through cheese and crust and emerge a more masculine man. Unfortunately, Fred has run into a little snag—the original title “Pizza Pro 3000″ has already been claimed. So, we need your help to come up with a new title—a better title to get the production line rolling.
Submit your title idea to contests@nerdapproved.com with “Fred’s Contest” in the subject line. If your idea is chosen, you will win a treasure trove of goodies from the Fred&Friends lineup. Time is of the essence though—the last day to enter is Friday, February 13th.
The Pizza Pro 3000 makes quick work of any crust, cheese, toppings and fingers that get in its way. It’s not actually a real working saw, but it is definitely masculine. Seriously, I would have to wear flannel and grow a beard just for pizza night. I have my fingers crossed for a chainsaw version from Fred next year. An additional image is available after the break.
Here are the top ten Nerd Approved Gadgets for the week of January 19th-January 25, 2009:
Boat Couch: Looks like a seaworthy vessel.
Glass Bathtub: It’s bulletproof and bomb-proof.
Corndog vs. Broccoli: For the heavyweight championship.
Clone Wars Projection Torch: It’s not a lightsaber.
Pill-Shaped Grip Exerciser: Steroids for a strong, masculine handshake.
The next five gadgets are available after the break…
The use of performance enhancing drugs is a problem in any sport, but we may have to start testing at the office. Could executives be juicing to give themselves the edge in the boardroom with a stronger, more masculine handshake?
Product Page ($6)
