Show how much you are over your ex by dissing him/her with a certificate of virginity that says “It was so bad, it didn’t even happen”. Your rock solid certificated virginity will also help you mentally erase a one night stand, wear white at your wedding or empower you to trade in this for one of these. However, if you plan on using your virginity diploma as a pick up device to finally land a woman you can bring home to Mom, your chronic crotch scratching will identify you as a liar right off the bat.
Product Page: ($1 via Geekologie)
Ahh, the one night stand. Alcohol made her look like the centerfold in last month’s issue of Playboy, but the next morning reality stepped in to let you know her face is more like a ham hock. Avoid those awkward moments with this pillow case that subtly tells your conquest to get the hell out before you find out the bad news.
Product Page: ($15.95)
The Loo Zone Traffic Cone is one of those things you need if your house does not have an exhaust fan. Still, there are times when even that is not enough. Rather than waste your night standing around and telling everyone not to enter, or just pretending you had nothing to do with it, throw this cone outside the bathroom door to give them fair notice. If they want to chance it, they can’t say they weren’t warned.
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Tinkles looks more like the product of a one night stand between a Panda and a Monkey; but hey, you can’t be picky when shrieks of terror and animal abuse allegations are on the line.
Product Page: ($8.97)
There are two possible outcomes of using these pillowcases. Either your potential conquest will find the one night stand imagery humorous and join in the fun or they will be looking for the closest exit. Only one of those is a worthy outcome for an opportunity that presents itself only once in a great while. Is your attempt at humor worth taking that chance?
Product Page ($24.99)
Perhaps he’s the alcoholic brother of the Tin Man, on his way to Oz to get a new liver from the Wizard. Possibly he’s a barfly in the land of transformers, or the resulting spawn of a one night stand between a steam locomotive and a battleship. But you can be sure that this copper and steel wine bottle holder will be a great addition to your home decor, whether you want to provide a cool nautical feel to your space, or simply try to hide alcohol from your kids.
Product Page: (£26.95, or about $40.65)
The only thing that lasts longer than the stench of a one night stand is the memory. And since getting rid of the memory is a lot more difficult, we will just offer you this Wash Your One Night Stand shampoo. It is a small price to pay for the cleansing benefits it offers.
Product Page NSFW site (£2.50, about $4.35)
You may think racing your Ferraris and Lamborghinis around is cool, but you stand no chance when racing against the new age Batmobile. There is no fire shooting out the back of this Batmobile a la Adam West’s version, but there is no question you will be the coolest racer when you show up with this one. I can’t imagine there is anyone that doesn’t find slot racing cool, especially with Batman involved.
Product Page ($34.99)
If you want to be the clown of the party, then this costume is something you just have to look at. “One Night Stand”? It is simple enough to understand, even for those that have to decide on a costume after a fifth of Jack. You may be thinking that Halloween is too far away, but who says you have to wait for Halloween? Any day of the year is appropriate if you have something as funny as this.
Product Page ($47.99)
