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As promised, here is the sequel to yesterday’s installment of Nerd Approved’s Stupidest Products of 2009. This section concludes the series with categories like Household, Booze, Things That Could Kill You, Alarm Clocks, Lego, USB, Toys and Micellany. Have a great new year!
Now that MJ has gone to the great beyond, the time has come for him to take his place next to Elvis in the post-death merchandising hall of fame. You’ll understand exactly what I’m talking about that day you spot a street corner vendor selling leopard print rugs and tacky paintings of the king of pop sweating. Then there’s also the fact that I can offer you options on Michael Jackson Thriller figures with additional zombie heads. And if that isn’t enough, there’s also an additional design pictured after the break.
It may take your guests a little while to figure it out, but that new painting in your house that they enjoy so much also happens to be a cell phone jammer. Nothing is more annoying than a visitor to your house spending all their time on the phone, now they won’t be able to make or receive any calls while at your house while you just play dumb. The jammer will block the following frequencies that should cover all cell signals: CDMA: 870-880MHz; GSM930-960MHz; DCS: 1805-1850MHz; PHS: 1895-1918MHz; 3G: 2010-2145MHz.
Product Page ($185)
Here are the top ten Nerd Approved Gadgets for the week of July 20th-26th, 2009:
Contest: Enter to win Mr. Bacon board game and handerpants.
Star Wars Robotic Arm: Snap together a working Darth Vader robotic arm.
100 Percent Quiz Mug: Has a nasty surprise inside.
Barrel Chairs: Pull up a mangled 50 gallon drum and take a load off.
Mr. Bacon’s Big Adventure Game: A mouth watering mosey through meatland.
I want to dedicate a wing of my house to the Dramatic Chipmunk, Squirrel Underpants, Monkey Portrait, Moonlight Zombie, Happy Cupcake and Bibo oil paintings, then invite guests over and explain the artistic significance to them in a totally serious way (while smoking a pipe and wearing nothing but a cravat, underpants and knee-high socks). Additional masterpieces are pictured after the break.
That’s right folks, you can buy a piece of shellacked laser-etched toast with Elvis’ image on it for $5. I know you are wondering why you should be wasting money on Elvis toast in a bad economy, but consider this: middle-aged ladies would pay at least $5 apiece to see this thing. Just set it up behind ropes on an altar with a velvet painting on the wall. People will come from miles around proclaiming that a miracle has happened.
Product Page ($5)
The Illusionator VideoArt “Ship of the Dead” haunted artwork features an old ship painting on actual canvas that suddenly comes to life with a bolt of lightning. The ship then sinks before your eyes while howling souls fly into the air and flames engulf the sinking vessel. The action comes to you from an LCD monitor installed behind the painting that includes built in speakers. The scene plays on a continuous loop thanks to a small, self-contained media playback unit that offers a brief pause between each simulation. All this comes together to serve as a cool Halloween decoration, conversation piece, or your worst nightmare if you suffer from aquaphobia.
Product Page ($950)
Let’s face it, no matter how many crappy sequels he makes, you will always have a soft spot for George Lucas. He gave grown men an excuse to dress up in costumes and play with toys—and for that we are forever grateful. So, honor him by decorating your parent’s basement with one of these exquisite oil painting prints. Other celebrity versions are also available.
Product Page ($44.95 or $150 depending on version)
You can either put this in your own bedroom to get rid of the SpongeBob night light you are tired of, or put it in your kid’s room to bring a little bit of art to their world. Either way, it is a unique way to degrade art. Even if you think Kinkade is a bit commercialized.
They have a whole line of different paintings, so the one pictured is not the only choice you have.
Product Page ($9.99)
I thought with today being Sunday that I would share with you something to remind you of your religious obligations all week long. Every time you go to check the time, you will be face to face with Jesus and the Apostles. I doubt that even the most hard core criminal would be hard pressed to rob a liquor store right after viewing that iconic painting.
Product Page ($18.50)
