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As promised, here is the sequel to yesterday’s installment of Nerd Approved’s Stupidest Products of 2009. This section concludes the series with categories like Household, Booze, Things That Could Kill You, Alarm Clocks, Lego, USB, Toys and Micellany. Have a great new year!
As if you needed another sign that society is headed in the wrong direction, take the stupid products people spend their money on. Every year they get stupider and stupider, but we are right there to spend our hard earned dollar. Why? Because poop never stops being funny and it’s hard to resist a “limited edition.” So, without further ado, here is Part I of the epic master list of the stupidest products of 2009.
All it takes to make some delicious popsicles is a couple of rockets, some flames and a launching pad. The launching pad will hold them upright in the freezer while they set up. Nothing will ease the heat of a summer day more than a retro rocket shaped popsicle made with your favorite flavored juice.
Product Page (Price Unavailable)
Boob-related novelties are a dime a dozen these days, so takes vision above and beyond the average, everyday bachelor party fare to attract our attention. This totally ridiculous quad-boobie dreadlock pen certainly fits the bill.
Product Page ($2.38)
Here’s yet another product in the long line of garbage to gadget conversions, this time for the bicycle lover in your life. Presenting a clock made from reclaimed bike chainwheels that tells time, promotes recycling and can stab you. Since many conventional clocks cost more and can only offer a third of that deal, it’s time to get a tetanus shot and clear some prominent wall space, because it’s bargain braggin’ time!
Product Page: ($36)
Here are the top ten Nerd Approved Gadgets for the week of June 1st-7th, 2009:
M1911 Pistol Shakers: Give you a shot of seasoning.
Rocket Beer Dispenser: Gets you drunk at warp speed.
Beer Ants: These ants get loaded while they work.
Giant Condom Pillow: For naps, storing prophylactics.
Assy McGee Ceramic Walking Anus Detective Bank: From now on, buttholes will remind you of fiscal responsibility.
Being drunk in space—now that would be interesting (until puke is floating around the cabin that is). Unfortunately you will have to be content with this rocket-shaped beer dispenser until space tourism becomes accessible to the masses.
Product Page (£30 or $49)
At first glance, the idea of a CD robot seems kind of intriguing, until you realize that it serves no purpose whatsoever. The product breakdown is that it’s a CD case containing five steel pieces that assemble into this bizarre robot thingy that looks like the result of an orgy between the Great Gazoo, a rocket and a pair of giant shoulder pads.
Product Page: ($48)
Finally you get a fill up without emptying your wallet. In fact, quite the opposite. As you deposit change into this bank the needle moves ever closer to full. Start saving now so that when gas prices skyrocket again you have a full bank to fall back on.
Product Page (£15.00, about $22.75)
Here are the top ten Nerd Approved Gadgets for the week of April 27th-May 3rd, 2009:
Deckstool: Where skateboards go to die.
Big-Foot Suction Mount: This Bigfoot really sucks.
Ron Jeremy Wrapping Paper: Shows them how much you care.
Science Museum Rocket Coin Bank: Has more uses than a Shamwow.
Boob and Poop Stress Rockets: I’m not even kidding.
