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Here are the top ten Nerd Approved Gadgets for the week of November 9th-15th, 2009:
Reindeer Toilet Seat Cover And Antlers Set: This is what happens to reindeer that don’t make Santa’s team.
Toilet Sound Blocker: Maintains your dignity.
Santa Pants Wine Bottle Holders: Santa has something in his pants for you.
iPhone Decals: Give your phone a serious downgrade.
Burger Sponge: Rub-a-dub-dub, I’m bathing with burgers in the tub.
Few people know the story of Frank the Reindeer. He tried out for the team, but he lacked “star quality”, and his name was all wrong for the image that Santa was trying to convey to the public. Second, he wasn’t the best flier. He was down on his luck though, and Santa found it in his heart to give him a job anyway. Sometimes Frank wishes he hadn’t.
Product Page ($15)
The recipient will love the two bottles of wine you give them but will love the Santa Pants wine bag even more. They may actually pause for two seconds to admire it before tossing it aside to get at the alcohol.
Product Page ($9.99)
It’s like a more realistic Mr. Hanky. Yeah, this is a horrible gift, but it could be worse. Take solace in knowing that the person who gave it to you could have easily put a little Santa hat on an actual turd.
Product Page (£5 or $8)
Don’t let one whiny and skeptical kid ruin Christmas for all the other children. If one kid tries using a little too much common sense to question the existence of Santa, all you need to do is leave a bunch of clues around to counter it. That kid will have no reason to believe there is no Santa when he finds all this stuff left behind: glasses, a torn piece of red suit, a large coat button, a boot prints, a sleigh bell on a red ribbon, a toy list, reindeer hoof prints and Santa’s glove. Get yourself a little red and green crime scene tape to complete the illusion.
Product Page ($14.95)
Nothing particularly revolutionary about a Santa shaped USB flash drive. What I find very odd is the need to remove his pants in order to access the USB connector. It would have seemed a lot more appropriate if you had to remove the bag of toys, but apparently someone really wanted those pants off.
Product Page ($26.88)
That’s right, weaning yourself off porn magazines has been a grueling road, and no doubt this magazine holder has provided more than its fair share of frustration as you tried in vain to take a dump and unlock the latest issue of “Screw” from the confusing maze of polished steel; but look at all you’ve accomplished! You have more patience, and you can accurately drop a deuce with only one cheek on the bowl. Bravo!
Product Page: ($115)
If empowering yourself with the Diana Ross hit “I’m Coming Out” hasn’t given you the motivational lift you need to step out of the closet, it may be time to pick up an alarm clock designed specifically to get the ball rolling. In fact, you probably don’t even need to set it; just display the clock or its box somewhere where they can be seen and chances are that closet will vaporize in seconds.
Product Page: ($17)
Santa has to fund his workshop somehow, and that means selling out at a level that would even shock Disney.
Product Page: ($5)
It’s a good thing too—dressing your cellphone up like Santa Claus with this holiday holder year round might be considered a little bizarre. Actually, it’s bizarre no matter when you do it.
Product Page (£5 or $8)
