This spanking ruler will get you one step closer to living your ultimate sexual fantasy: having a bunch of nuns smack your ass into submission while you wear a ball gag and leather chaps. Then afterwards you can have a violent recuperation by resting your sore buttcheeks on the cat fight pillow pictured after the break… That’s relief!
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These pillows offer customizable colors and allow you to choose between classic acronyms such as: WTF, BBIAF, OMG, or FTW. However, if you’ve ever wanted a dinosaur to mock your sexual performance or gaming skills in text, then the LOL pillow pictured above has you covered.
Product Page: ($20)
You have to figure that a sex slave doll is one toy that won’t complain if it is played with a bit roughly. As a matter of fact, the more it is tossed around, the more it will shout out “Oh yeah! Aaaah that’s good!”. As long as your dog doesn’t start coming home in leather and chains I don’t see any harm in it.
Product Page ($13.99)
Here are the top ten Nerd Approved Gadgets for the week of October 12th-18th, 2009:
Weekend Contest: Win one of four toilet coffee mugs.
Cable Monkey: Loves your cords.
Screaming Condom USB Flash Drive: Has no additional protection.
Polar Bear Toss Catch Game: Let’s toss the old polar bear head around.
Simpsons Water Dispenser: Features a 3-eyed fish flavor.
Being relegated to laying on the floor just got a bit more enjoyable with these two Sex Rugs. Both available rugs are made with ‘experimental craftsmanship’ with some longer shag left for the purchaser to style/trim as they wish. Aphrodite, pictured above, is the more demure of the two just showing her backside. Diana, pictured after the break, obviously has no body issues as she displays even more shag that is just waiting to be trimmed per your preference.
This witch has an obsession known as “objectophilia.” That is to say, she has a sexual attraction to inanimate objects. She will violate any MP3 player or cellphone you put in front of her.
Product Page ($13)
When they call these liquorice whips, they mean whip in a very real way. Take a couple whacks at your favorite S&M partner with one of these then sit back and enjoy the tasty liquorice flavor. If bondage is more your thing, then check out the gummy handcuffs after the break. Either of these candy sex-game toys will leave you with the best aftertaste you have ever had.
Sleeping and sex can feel like a chore when you have writer, poet and tortured soul Edgar Allan Poe staring at you from this pillow all night long. But what the hell? As long as he’s there, why not put a whistle around his neck and let him act as your official “sex ref”? Just take the bored expression as an invitation to wow him.
Product Page: ($42.50)
Enjoy the sexy feeling of wearing large coins as rings on your fingers when you use this Sovereign Mug for your morning coffee. You can use it to strut around at the office and look cool with having to wear those weighty rings all day.
Product Page (£5.99, about $9.75)
Here are the top ten Nerd Approved Gadgets for the week of August 10th-16th, 2009:
1.3 Mega USB Live WebCam Camera: Angel, Baby, Pinocchio, Witch, Webcam.
The Bird Flying Finger Kite: This flying bird flips and offends.
Funny Black Ink Ball Pen: A pen with boobie dreadlocks is a fine writing instrument.
Dexter Coasters: For killer drinks.
Polaroid Style Snap Frames: People 20 and up will probably be the only ones who remember this film.
