This witch has an obsession known as “objectophilia.” That is to say, she has a sexual attraction to inanimate objects. She will violate any MP3 player or cellphone you put in front of her.
Product Page ($13)
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Enjoy the sexy feeling of wearing large coins as rings on your fingers when you use this Sovereign Mug for your morning coffee. You can use it to strut around at the office and look cool with having to wear those weighty rings all day.
Product Page (£5.99, about $9.75)
It is not entirely clear what part of the anatomy this corkscrew is, but from the position of it we can take a pretty good guess. A gifted man with an appendage that is more useful than most.
Product Page ($29)
From Fashionably Geek: Under the list of features, the product page for this magic massage bra only lists one word: “sexy.” However, they also claim it can do everything from increasing your bust size to promoting better sleep.
Make breast more healthy: Pangao breast enhancer effectively make breast up, dredge breast glands, eliminate blood stasis and effectively prevent women from breast diseases and flaccid, also can move fat and make a well-shaped figure. If use it often, you can have a sound sleep, immunity from disease and better internal secretion.
Um…what? All I know is that this thing rubs boobs. I doubt women would find that as exciting as guys would find massage pants, but hey—don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.
Product Page (Pricing Available Upon Request)
The pointy feet and large rear end of this sexy girl are perfect for keeping all your doors open. I cannot think of another door stopper that could turn a person on as well as perform a valuable household function. It appears they have the proportions down perfectly to achieve both.
Product Page ($13.85)
At the first sign of movement, this garden frog decoration will let out a “sexy woo-woo” whistle—harassing you, your husband, your children, your friends, the dog, the cat, large rodents…whatever. Sufficed to say, he has problems.
Product Page ($30)
Here are the top ten Nerd Approved Gadgets for the week of April 6th-12th, 2009:
Calf Plush Home Gadget Bag Barrel: Crying calf gadget cup is completely absurd.
Heat Sensitive Monkey: Has a color-changing perm.
Spooky Tumblers: Your booze is haunted.
Giant Star Trek Spock Peel and Stick Wall Graphic: Finally, Leonard Nimoy can creepily stare back at you as you sleep!
DIY Art Car Kits: Add to your car’s hideousness.
Let a hot blonde make a comment after every dart you throw that actually hits the mark. She certainly gives you a big enough target. Maybe this will finally be the motivation you need to throw them half way decently. Nothing else has seemed to work.
Product Page (£11.05, about $16)
Babemagnet and Dudemagnet are described as “animated pocket sculptures made of permanent’ magnets – the strongest magnets on earth. Their strength lasts virtually forever. They are useful, playful, wearable, educational and therapeutic.” Essentially, they are your personal “magnet friends” that can be used in a variety of ways. Hit the break for additional pics and a must-read press release with more details.
In these tough economic times, phone sex has become too much of a luxury for many thrifty perverts. This 1-900 Hotline device can help with pre-loaded sexy talk from the likes of “Bambi” and “Sunshine.” And the best part is that it only sets you back $19.
Product Page ($29 AUD or $19 )
