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There are times during that seemingly elusive search for your soulmate when you need a diversion, if only for a night. It is at those times that you are not looking for the most virtuous woman. The Trouser Expander will probably be of a more assistance with those. A few pumps and your visible manhood is made to appear to be more than there really is. A lot cheaper than buying a Porsche to get that same girl.
Product Page NSFW site (£4.99, about $8.65)
While tracking down content for Nerd Approved I often conjure up products in my mind only to discover that they either don’t exist or are extremely hard to find. From here on out, mock-ups of these products will be collected in a new feature dubbed “Products That Should Exist But Don’t.” For the first installment I give you “Conquest Stickers.”
Much like a fighter pilot recording kills on the side of his plane, Conquest Stickers are designed to keep track of your romances without having to resort to unsightly notches in your bedpost. I’m not sure if this product exists—but it should. Although, nobody is going to hand you an award for being a slut. Or will they (NSFW link)?
Here are the top ten Nerd Approved Gadgets for the week of July 14th to July 20th 2008:
Space Story Blanket: Stay warm…with LEDs!
Captain Kirk Command Chair: Features light up control panel and sound effects.
Guitar Mickey Mouse Doll: Is he channeling Pete Townshend?
Pocket Slutometer: Keep track of your conquests.
Big Boy BBQ Skewer: His wiener gets plump when you cook it.
The next five gadgets are available after the break…
For the girl who has everyone, this Pocket Slutometer wil help you keep score. For every conquest you achieve just hit the button. The counter will move up and the built in siren will announce it to the world. You have to appreciate that they give you three decimal places to keep count with. The only defect I find in this product is the fact that it has a reset button. Isn’t that sort of like a born again virgin? All the fun with none of the consequences just isn’t how things work.
Product Page (£6.99 preorder, about $14)
We all know that the tambourine player is the one that attracts the adoring fans and slutty groupies. So why not kick your game up a notch with a tambourine that lights up? Every time it shakes or makes contact with your hand or hip, the lights will flash in rhythm to the music.
Product Page ($19.95)
Some girls may be slutty, some may be virgins. And a large number of them fall somewhere in between those extremes. This bubble bath is strictly for those at the extremes. Leave these in your bathroom and let your lady friend choose whichever she wants. It will certainly give you some more information, although if she is taking baths at your house the virgin bubble bath may not get a whole lot of use.
Product Page ($9.95)
Are you fat, greedy, lazy, vengeful, vain, slutty, or jealous? Now you can accessorize with your sin of choice thanks to these Seven Deadly Sins Wristbands.
And if your Lindsay Lohan you just need to put on a few pounds and you can collect the whole set!
Product Page ( $13.95 )
Here are the top ten Nerd Approved Gadgets for the week of May 7th – 13th.
Top Ten Nerd Approved Gadgets:
The Ashtray Clock: Time for a smoke?
The Air Guitar: An air guitar you can actually buy.
Neon Green Butt Station: The hardest working desktop accessory ever.
The Edible Anus: Still not appropriate for Mothers Day (or any day for that matter.)
The Suntracker Swivel Beach Chair: Why hasn’t someone thought of this before?
The next five gadgets are available after the break…
The one problem I have with some of these speaker systems for the iPod is how large they are. If I wanted something that large, I would buy a stereo system. iHome has the iHM1B that is a very portable speaker solution for the first generation Nano.
Comes with a plastic shield and a water resistant carrying case. It also offers SRS™ TruBass for enhanced bass reproduction. While you may not get aboslutely professional sound from something like this, I think it makes up for in portiability what it gives up in sound reproduction.
