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As promised, here is the sequel to yesterday’s installment of Nerd Approved’s Stupidest Products of 2009. This section concludes the series with categories like Household, Booze, Things That Could Kill You, Alarm Clocks, Lego, USB, Toys and Micellany. Have a great new year!
Celebrate your twisted side this season with fanciful twirled-glass pieces to display wherever and however your spirit guides. Evocative of translucent stylized gourds or glowing paisley squiggles come to life, they provide a chic, unique alternative to the usual seasonal decor.
Nice try, but a description written by an assembly of the greatest spin doctors in politics couldn’t convince the masses that this is anything but decorative glass sperm.
Product Page: ($23.75)
Here are the top ten Nerd Approved Gadgets for the week of September 14th-20th, 2009:
USB Laptop Table With Bear-Shaped Mouse Platform: The product page fails to mention why it looks like a bear.
Benedictaphone: Your voice recordings from the Pope’s mouth.
Puzzle Pups: Kind of disturbing.
Dancing Robot: Has a strange backup crew.
Boob Luge: Lactates ice cold liquor. (NSFW)
This Racing Sperm set doesn’t work too much differently than the actual ones. Just get them wound up and see which can find the attraction of the magnetic egg first. It is a struggle for survival so these little guys should be putting everything they have into their wriggling across the floor.
Product Page (£8.99, about $15 available 10/2/2009)
Described as having “substantial physical assets”, in addition to being ”good-natured”, “at your service” and “giant”, this man bookshelf seems to have everything a woman is looking for. Without a mouth you know he’s a good listener, he’ll gladly watch soaps with you and he’ll hold your purse, knick knacks and cookbooks without a single complaint. When you really break it down, if it weren’t for sperm and our ability to earn a paycheck this bastard would probably have us all out on our asses.
Product Page: (Price available upon request)
Here are the top ten Nerd Approved Gadgets for the week of January 19th-January 25, 2009:
Boat Couch: Looks like a seaworthy vessel.
Glass Bathtub: It’s bulletproof and bomb-proof.
Corndog vs. Broccoli: For the heavyweight championship.
Clone Wars Projection Torch: It’s not a lightsaber.
Pill-Shaped Grip Exerciser: Steroids for a strong, masculine handshake.
The next five gadgets are available after the break…
Just a tip guys, if you want to get some on Valentine’s Day, it’s probably best to stick with the traditional teddy bear. Valentine sperm lacks subtlety and reeks of desperation.
Product Page ($25)
I can understand the smile on this sperm’s face, anytime he gets let loose everyone is happy. But I am thinking it is more natural for him to be washed off of bodies and not used as a cleanser. Believe me, if you can convince people that he is the better than soap then I think we would all be much happier.
Product Page ($6.95)
Make a deposit every day that will actually be worth something in the future. Not only can you save money, but it is also a shiny decoration that will be most amusing when your parents are trying to guess what it is.
Product Page ($8.95)
