April fools (or the “asshole superbowl” as I like to call it) is a time where annoying people bask in the glory of a prank well pulled. Sure, they claim to be your friends, but when you take a fall they are right there with a camcorder and an open YouTube account. In order to protect yourself, you need to know your enemy. Take a good look the products after the break as they are some of the most annoying weapons in the pranksters arsenal. If you still get punked, just remember—a well placed kick can settle the score real fast.
Drip Tormentor: Hide this device in the victim’s room. When the lights go out, the dripping sound will begin. When they turn the lights back on to investigate, the dripping stops. ($5.49)
Fart Sweets: This classic prank candy will cause your victim to fart excessively. ($1.45)
Phantom Keystroker: Attach this device to any free USB port on your victim’s computer and it will generate random mouse movements and erratic text that will be sure to drive anyone nuts. ($24.99)
Crusty Underwear Delivery: Send a recipient of your choosing the “dirtiest, smelliest, crusty-y-fronts in stock; full with delightful aroma.” (£8.99 or $18)
Toilet Monster: Lift the lid to for a shocking surprise! Needless to say, the last thing I need with a full bladder is a surprise. ($17.89)
Liquid Ass: “Once unleashed, this power–packed, super–concentrated liquid begins to evaporate filling the air with a genuine, foul butt–crack smell with hints of dead animal and fresh poo.” Sounds enchanting. ($7.99 for one bottle – bulk discounts available)
Computer Pranks CD: Features 25 classic computer disaster simulators—including the infamous “blue screen of death.” ($14.99)
Shock Digital Camera: “Can you take our picture quick?” Sure, any shock gadget is annoying, but it is even more so when you are punked trying to help someone out. ($8.99)
