Screw It, Let’s Cast Chris Pratt As All Our Movie Icons [Featured]

chris pratt indiana jones

Chris Pratt’s already taken over the Marvel and Jurassic Park universes, and now rumor has it he’ll be whipping bad guys into shape (har har–Nerd Approved readers, you can always expect bad puns from me) as a reboot version of Indiana Jones. I’ve seen some people be skeptical of this, even fearful that we’re quickly approaching a Benedict Cumberbatch-style critical mass of Pratness, but I say bring it on. Let’s cast Bert Macklin, FBI in every. Single. Thing.

Well, half the things. Emily Blunt can get the other half. For Star-Lord/Andy Dwyer/Johnny Karate/the world’s supreme Velociraptor wrangler, let’s start with the following five:

chris pratt boba fett

We don’t know for sure whether one of the announced Star Wars spinoff films is going to be about the galaxy’s most infamous bounty hunter, but we know each one is going to focus on a specific character, and given those parameters, the Fett is a pretty good bett. One of them is being directed by noted scaly monster fan Gareth Edwards (Godzilla, Monsters), and Pratt’s racking up experience working with real live dinosaurs (“But they’re not–” “Real live dinosaurs.”). I’m just sayin’. Or maybe he’ll be teenage Yoda?

chris pratt escape from new york

Things were all quiet on the Escape from New York front until a few weeks ago, when Fox acquired the reboot rights. Are they rushing things along so they can snap up Pratt before Disney gets its act together with Indy? No. Maaaaaaaaaybe.

chris pratt sandman

Joseph Gordon who now? No one else can play Dream from Neil Gaiman’s Sandman except Pratt. Look at him! He has sex hair!

chris pratt zordon

Playing Zordon in Lionsgate’s Mighty Morphin Power Rangers reboot has to be an appealing prospect for Pratt, because Zordon being just a floating head/hard-boiled egg/living condom means he could go at least one movie role without having to get his abs back.

chris pratt the crow

Well, the Crow remake (which Nick Cave–yes, the musician and occasional screenwriter–is one of the writers for, in case you’ve forgotten that bit of weirdness) did recently lose star Luke Evans. What better song for goth rocker Eric Draven to sing as a lament to his murdered fiancée than “5,000 Candles In the Wind”?


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