10 Crazy Ways To Blow Through Boring Tasks [Featured]


If I was wealthy enough, I would set things up in such a way that I never had to perform a mundane, everyday task ever again. I would also probably never wear pants, but that’s another story. I’m talking about the kinds of tasks that take time away from important pursuits like writing about crazy gadgets that make people lazier and more impatient. It’s just my way of giving back to society.

Electric unicycle
So you want to get a burger from that new restaurant up the street, but it’s too close to drive and too far to walk. You could take a bike, but that would require some physical effort. Besides, a proud Clown College graduate like yourself would never be caught dead on a bike or even a Segway. It’s a unicycle or nothing.

In that scenario, the Gyroscopic Electric Unicycle is the best mode of transportation. The gyroscopic sensors on the briefcase-sized electric unicycle keep the rider balanced at all times, and it takes only a gentle lean forward to get moving or a gentle lean backward to stop. The maximum speed is 10 mph, which is a lot faster than walking, but I must warn you — when riding the electric unicycle, please don’t drink and juggle. $1,800 — Hammacher Schlemmer

TurboChef
I enjoy cooking, but I find myself going out to eat more and more because I’m just too busy, lazy or hungry to spend time preparing something decent. And, let’s face it, you can’t eat microwaveable pizza rolls, Doritos and beer for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Breakfast and lunch tops. If you have the money to drop on a TurboChef oven, you could bake something up to 15 times faster than a conventional oven. We’re talking a 12-pound turkey in 40 minutes as opposed to 4 hours. The key is TurboChef’s proprietary Airspeed Technology that “circulates currents of heated air from the top and bottom of the oven cavity to brown, sear and caramelize food.” It can also be used as a standard convection or microwave oven. $7,900 — TurboChef

Russell Hobbs washing machine
Washing clothes is another one of those chores that you want to get over with as quickly as possible. Apparently, the quickest way to get the job done is to use a Russell Hobbs washing machine that will handle 15.4- or 19.8-pound loads in a blazing 12 minutes when set on a “super rapid” cycle. Not only that, doing so will save energy consumption by 30 percent and and water usage by 15 percent. Dual jets inject water and detergent into the wash at the same time, ensuring that your clothes are washed quickly and thoroughly. Unfortunately, the only problem is that all of your socks may end up traveling back in time. Well, that and the fact that they are only available in the UK at the moment. $453 to $523 — ASDA Direct

Leto Zip Bed
If left to my own devices the bed would never get made and the sheets would rarely be changed. Thank God for my wife who keeps pulling me back from the slovenly brink. (I drew the line at an abundance of pillows on the bed however. If you don’t remove them it’s like sleeping in a ball pit at Chuck E. Cheese’s.) That having been said, the stylish Leto Zip Bed is a brilliantly simple way to cut corners. The top cover can be quickly zipped up like a sleeping bag to hide the unkempt sheets underneath. Pricing not available — Florida.it via Nerd Approved

Nighwave Sleep Assistant
I don’t suffer from insomnia, but it often takes me a little while to get to sleep because my mind is racing about things like the tasks I must accomplish in the morning, what that noise I just heard was, how clean the sheets are, and/or about how stupid it was that I used to own a waterbed (thanks again to my wife). At any rate, the Nightwave Sleep Assistant can help you get to sleep faster by shining a blue light on the ceiling that pulsates progressively slower during a 7- or 25-minute cycle. During that time you must try and breathe in sync with the ebb and flow of the light. At first I thought this was just a preposterous gimmick, but I had a chance to review it myself and found that it actually worked for me. I’m almost always out by the end of a 7-minute cycle. $50 — Nightwave

Dixie Chopper lawnmowers
The only thing I find enjoyable about mowing the lawn is how good a cold drink tastes afterward. If I owned a Dixie Chopper, I could get to the payoff a lot faster since they claim to make “the world’s fastest lawnmower.” In fact, some of their higher-end models such as the Xcaliber 4074 have a 40-horsepower engine and can mow nearly 7 acres an hour. It even has a 12-volt adapter for your cell phone or iPod. These things can turn on a dime too, which would be a serious benefit over the project I was contemplating — mounting a push mower on an old Saturn. Pricing not available — Dixie Chopper

ZipIt Clamshell and Blister Pack opener
As a gadget freak, there’s nothing more frustrating, or emasculating than gnawing on a blister pack like a wild animal in a futile attempt to liberate its contents without scissors. Don’t let “wrap rage” happen to you. ZipIt makes quick work of these plastic force fields with an electronic cutting motion that doesn’t require any effort on your part. I’ll bet the ZipIt comes in a blister pack though. Agghhhhhhhh! $13.90 — Amazon

Shampaw dog-washing glove
Your dog may like to stick its head out the window, but that doesn’t mean you can use the opportunity to go through the car wash and kill two birds with one stone. No, the best way to get this annoying task over with quickly and safely is to use the Shampaw dog-washing glove. A hose runs water through the glove and out 38 water-jet nozzles embedded in the palm so you can flush out debris embedded deep inside your pet’s fur. The dog is also less likely to run away because the procedure feels more like petting and massaging than bathing torture. $69.95 — Shampaw

Flower Grenades
Want to plant a garden this spring but you don’t have the time? The quickest (and funnest) way to get the job done is to go into battle armed with these Flower Grenades. Inside each clay grenade is a growing medium and wild flower seed (rye grass, poppies and buttercups). Just bombard your beds with a barrage of these grenades and it will create the slowest, prettiest and best-smelling explosion in the history of weaponry. $15.99 for a pack of three — Amazon via Nerd Approved

BottomsUp beer dispenser
After a long afternoon of racing the neighbors around my house on my Dixie Chopper lawnmower, all I want is an ice cold beer. But who can wait more than 10 seconds for draft? That’s where the BottomsUp beer tap comes in. It pours beer from the bottom of the glass to the top — up to 9 times faster than traditional beer taps (the pouring record currently stands at 56 beers in a minute). Commercial units are available now, but a home unit is expected to be released in 2013. Pricing not available — BottomsUp via That’s Nerdalicious

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