Someone has finally given you the technology required to turn your Yugo into a tank thingy with these strap on treads. Since I don’t understand Russian, I can’t give you any additional information, except for the fact that these may help you drive through snow, but they won’t help your car stand up against a bullet. So it’s really more like a Bobcat Utility Vehicle conversion without any of the cool scooping or digging tools…Bummer.
automobiles
It is inevitable that a car gets a few scratches and dings over the course of its lifetime, but paying to have the damaged repaired can get pricey. A much cheaper and more half-assed solution would be to cover that dent with one of these auto bandages. Just place it over the damaged area just like a normal Band-Aid. It’s a humorous way to mask unsightly scratches—and it could come in especially handy if you accidentally ding someone else’s car.
Product Page ($3.89)
Whether your drinkin’ on the road or on the water, the L’il Sucker will keep your beverage secure (and cold) thanks to a suction cup base that will stick just about anywhere. Naturally, these are intended for non-alcoholic beverages when used in a vehicle, but there is probably more than one drunk out there that will get the wrong idea.
Product Page ($5.88)
The Taxi Dog Bed may not be the decoration you envisioned in your living room, but your dog will certainly love it. It would appear it would be more conducive to small dogs, a large dog would just be crushing it like Godzilla. Which actually sounds like it could be fun. Hail one of these nice beds for your dog, you needed to think of a Christmas present for him anyway.
Product Page ($249)
Swap out those old fashioned fuzzy dice for some of these fuzzy boobs. Because when you pick up a date, nothing says “I am a gentleman” like a pair of titties hanging from your rear view mirror.
Product Page (£6.99 or $13.63)
Is that a dashboard on your bedside table? Looking like a speedometer, tachometer and maybe an oil gauge, you can add a little bit of an automotive flair. Be aware, though, that waking up and seeing a dashboard in front of you could scare the hell out of you every morning.
Product Page ($37.95)
You may have your Hula Girll or your Dashboard Jesus, but I prefer something a little more interesting when it comes to stupid car accessories–and Dashboard Dolly fits the bill nicely. As you drive, her boobs bounce up and down. It couldn’t be simpler, or more beautiful. Just make sure to focus on the road because bouncing boobs are mesmerizing–even if they are on a tiny plastic doll with no legs.
Product Page (£3.99 or $8)
Actually, I have no idea what year the Gremlin is in the picture above, but what I do know is that this Vinyl Cologne promises that you can smell like one. Does that turn you on ladies? You’re damn right it does.
Product Page ( $18.99 )
Those damn birds. They poop all the friggin’ time. Worse yet, they poop on your nice clean car. Be prepared with the Grumpy Girl Auto Bird Turd Emergency Kit.
Each kit features a spray bottle of water, cleaning fluid, shop towels, ziploc bags, cleaner wax, a microfiber sponge, and antibacterial hand wipes – in short, everything to need to handle some serious shit.
Also available in a masculine “Shit Kit” for guys.
Product Page: Auto Bird Turd ( $28 ) / Shit Kit ( $32.95 )
It’s a good thing that these car slippers have working headlights because, by the looks of things, if you are walking around in the dark you stand a good chance of busting your ass by tripping over your own gigantic feet.
Product Page ( $29.95 )
