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If you asked people whether they would ever be interested in owning a ceramic screaming baby head that they could use as a planter, most would probably say something like: “Of course not, what the hell are you smoking?” But for those who are all about having bizarre shit in their homes, we present this currently sold out piece of botanical weirdness.
Product Page: (Sold Out)
Halloween is creeping up on us fast. Speaking of creepy, this possessed baby would be the perfect addition to your holiday decor—if you can stand to be in the same room as it that is. When set off by motion, the doll’s head will spin, the eyes will light up and it will make crazy noises.
Product Page ($76 / Pre-Order)
There are two stages of life where there is a lot of disgusting stuff going on, anything before 3 years old and the typical college student. This kit of towels for cleaning them up will get more use than anything else you could buy for them. I think the baby wins the poop category, but the college student blows him away in the puke and gross categories. We’ll call tinkle a tie.
Product Page ($51)
You can put a bomb next to my bed in the morning, but nothing is going to get me to shut the alarm of faster than to hear basketball announcer Dick Vitale’s voice as I come back to consciousness. From the ridiculous terms he coins combined with his high energy and need to end sentences with the word “baby”, I may be afraid to go to sleep just knowing what I will have to listen to when I wake up.
Product Page ($29.85)
As a parent you want keepsakes of your child’s early years. Pictures, hand-print castings, bronzed shoes. But a casting of your baby’s ass? A bit much for me and I can’t believe that after changing thousands of diapers that the ass is the part you want immortalized.
Product Page (£39.95, $80US)
Although I am sure this is a very useful product for mothers who are trying to medicate infants, there is just something a little odd about a syringe coupled with a nipple. You may want to be careful who sees you injecting anything into your baby’s mouth with this syringe, or chance becoming very well acquainted with Child Protective Services.
Product Page ($3.90)
It may be the most overused joke in movies involving babies, but if you have little boys you know that taking a shot of urine in the eye is a very real possibility. Thanks to the Lil’ Pischer jersey-covered cup, you can prevent these “sudden outbursts.”
Product Page ($12.98)
Babies are generally not very well dressed, usually wearing clothing that are made more for ease and comfort than looks. But this little Baby Tuxedo will make him stand out as the fashion plate he is. No more embarrassing onesies at the opera. He has to learn that black tie required means black tie required for everyone.
Product Page ($39.95)
We’re all tired of listening to the duffer that could have shot a great round “if only…”. You know, if only he hadn’t missed eight 2 foot putts, if only he hadn’t dumped a couple into that lake. It goes on and on.
Rather than making a scene by just telling him to get over it, hand him this pacifier. Every baby quiets down when they get their pacifier.
Product Page ($3.99)
