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It doesn’t take a chemist to tell you that drinking alcohol out of a beaker that’s nearly 3-feet tall will most likely result in drunkenness. Nevertheless, you can test your mettle against the glass and emerge as a “Wimp”, “Lightweight”, “Pretender”, “Contender”, “Loaded Bloke” or, the ultimate “Loaded Legend”.
Product Page (£20 or $34)
This motorcycle grip makes a revving sound every time you pop open a beer. You’ll get a lot of good years out of this motorcycle, but remember that it is dangerous. You’ll probably fall a few times, and once the liver goes it’s time to trade her in.
Product Page ($10)
Normally, a few pints is all you need to get to sleep quickly—but now you can keep warm on the inside and the outside courtesy of Guinness.
Product Page (£38 or $62)
Pray you never play golf behind a foursome making use of the Div Pro. Like other golf tools, it can fix divots, mark balls, clean the grooves on clubs and help to keep your grips in good shape—but it also has a couple unexpected features. It can hold cigars and puncture cans so you can shotgun beers.
Picture the guys in front of you laughing, smoking, drunk off their ass and hacking their way around the golf course. Will they let you play through? Of course not. You confront them, they don’t appreciate it, and the next thing you know you are teeing off on one of their faces with your driver. It happens all the time. Additional images are available after the break.
As charming as this vintage Beer Can shift knob is, shirtless, toothless hicks in beat up old pickups don’t want to give the police another excuse to conduct a sobriety test.
Product Page ($40)
This Giant Beer Can Tab Bottle Opener will give your refrigerator the same look as your kitchen counters the day after a big party, the only difference being that this one is actually useful. Giant versions of any products are cool, those based on beer cans are twice as good and those that aid in your drinking are priceless.
Product Page ($9.95)
This beer mug puts a frat-boy spin on the traditional ant farm. As the ants tunnel through the “beer” they generate a frothy “foam” on top. Unfortunately, these ants will meet an untimely and horrific end when your roommate drunkenly swallows them at a party.
Product Page ($30)
Being drunk in space—now that would be interesting (until puke is floating around the cabin that is). Unfortunately you will have to be content with this rocket-shaped beer dispenser until space tourism becomes accessible to the masses.
Product Page (£30 or $49)
First off, I had no idea that the Lingerie Football League was going national with 10 teams this year. It is amazing that I missed that bit of news. But they have team themed merchandise for sale already. None better than this fold away Beer Pong Table. A beer pong table itself is a great idea, but throw a few hot chicks wearing underwear on it who obviously are into a little rough play and you have a complete package. The team pictured above is the San Diego Seduction, even their team names are hot.
Product Page ($179)
Drinking beer 12 ounces at a time is for wusses. If you want to drink the right way, get yourself a Chug Mug. It holds about 60 ounces of beer and will let you know just how manly you are by how much you can chug. They certainly don’t make it easy on you, you need to get 40 ounces down before you can even be respectable. If you get 50 down you will achieve the badass status you have been dreaming of.
Product Page ($24.95)
