As a parent you want keepsakes of your child’s early years. Pictures, hand-print castings, bronzed shoes. But a casting of your baby’s ass? A bit much for me and I can’t believe that after changing thousands of diapers that the ass is the part you want immortalized.
Product Page (£39.95, $80US)
Please don’t mistake these for that other product people refer to as a butt plug. These fluorescent covers get plugged into unused outlets for safety. Unless you have a lot of electrical devices in your house, it will look like a proctologists nightmare.
Product Page (£3.95, about $8)
If the sadist in you loves the idea of jamming your pen into this guy’s “holder’, his moaning, groaning and head slamming up/down should amuse you to no end. I just have no explanation for the nose on the poor guy.
Product Page ($13.89)
If you don’t think the name of the Ass Reaper Hot Sauce gives you an idea of how hot it is, then the skull dressed as the grim reaper may clue you in. And you had better hope your ass can handle it the next morning because if eating it wasn’t painful, the aftermath certainly will be.
Product Page ($7.98)
If there is one thing I have learned in my years of writing about stupid products, it’s that pet lovers will buy anything. The fact that it is tacky, expensive or retarded doesn’t seem to matter. Case in point, these Puppy Butt Wall Hooks.
Product Page ( $14.99 )
Help out those in you circle of friends who are so anal retentive it drives you crazy. The Tidy Butt Enema for the Anal Retentive will loosen them up. As they say, the pre-lubed tip will be perfect for the “end-user”.
You would hope that just receiving this wonderful gift would give them the idea to clean up their act, but it is more likely they will need a second dose.
Product Page ($9.95)
You want a mouth that’s minty fresh right? But what about your other holes? Should you be walking around with an un-fresh bunghole? Hell no!
Give your most fowl smelling orifice the attention it deserves ( nay, demands! ) with Sphincterine Butt Wipes. Each wipe is naturally formulated for a “minty fresh taste”. Sphincterine has even been known to cause a tingling sensation that can last for as long as 30 minutes.
And yes, I did say “minty fresh taste” back there. Apparently Sphincterine is safe to eat. Which means you can feel free to…well, you see where I’m going to go with this.
Product Page ($6)
Maybe this is something Paris brought to jail with her, maybe not. Having a prisoner butt plug likeness does mean she has reached the pinnacle of celebrity infamy. She can’t say that her incarceration was a total waste when it spawned a product like this.
What is probably even scarier is that the product is currently sold out. Either they only made a couple of them or there are far too many people in need of a new butt plug.
Comes in an assquake version!
Product Page ($21.95)
When you go to the dentist, the first thing they usually mention is that you have not been flossing as much as you should. Well, few people know that proctologists often say the same thing. And let me tell you, scraping plaque with that little hook is nothing compared to what the proctologist does with dingleberries. You’ve been warned.
Product Page ( $4.99 )
Know an older person who is always complaining about their ailments? Next time they try to bore you with the details and complaining, just pull out this rectal thermometer. That should get them over their ailments real quick.
Product Page ($7.19)
Friends: Asylum• Fosfor Gadgets• Geek Girl Diva • Geeks Are Sexy• Obvious Winner• TechEBlog• Technabob• Uber-Review•
