There have been several Vader alarm clocks in the past, but the latest exclusive from the official StarWarsShop might very well be the most effective at getting you up. You see, each morning will be met with an alarm and the projected shadow of Darth Vader on the wall, ready to strike. There are no details on how big the projected image actually is, but if it’s life-size, you might be headed back to bedwetting.
Product Page ($27 Pre-Order for May via Chip Chick)
It looks like Grandpa Clock retired, moved to Vegas and ditched his dusty old clothes for some loud-ass shirts. Some LEDs (arranged to produce a cool tunnel effect on the clock face) and a little steel create a grandfather clock unlike anything you have ever seen before.
It works just like a normal clock, but that second hand has some sort of developmental disorder. It will just wander off randomly, doing as it pleases. Probably relying on instinct mostly. At any rate, this is what you get when clocks keep it in the family.
Product Page (TBA)
I’ve seen kitchen scales with clock functions before, but none were as elegant as this wall-mountable version. When you have flour, meat or weed to measure out, just take it off the wall and lay it flat on the counter. Measures in both grams and ounces.
Product Page (£25 or $41)
The world may have moved on to digital photography for the most part, but there are still plenty of die-hard traditionalists out there that are sticking with old-fashioned film. For the latter group I present this LCD clock in its film-shaped form.
Product Page ($53)
En Suspend is a stylish, contemporary clock that doubles as a coat hanger. Lining a few of them up in a hallway with times set to different cities around the world would actually be a very cool (and functional) look. An additional image is available after the break.
Ah the Killin’ Time Clock. Inappropriate on so many levels. Not only does it feature the face of Vlad Tepes (Vlad the Impaler), the notorious 15th century Romanian ruler and one of Bram Stoker’s inspirations for Dracula, it also features tiny impaled figures on the clock hands. The second hand even includes Vlad’s date of birth and (supposed) death. I suppose it goes without saying, but his product will bring a ray of sunshine into any room.
Product Page ($26)
Bologna is the new bacon folks—you heard it here first. A tidal wave of bologna-related merchandise is poised to dominate the market. For example, this pattern can be purchased on everything from clocks to hats to journals. However, if you are a bacon purist, your product is pictured after the break.
The Memoria clock is inspired by 19th century French fireplace clocks, but the concept itself is very modern. Up close the cut metal looks almost pixelated and it is supported by its own “shadow.”
Product Page ($149)
If there is one thing that I can’t stand it is those corny inspirational posters you find hanging up in offices. You know—the ones that say “Hang in There” with a picture of a cat hanging from a tree or “Achievement” with some dude on the summit of a mountain. Well, someone managed to cram all of that douchebaggery into a desktop countdown clock. Just set it for sometime between now and 2049 and it will motivate you until the battery runs out. There is also a retirement version, but with the way the economy is right now, you might find yourself resetting that one a few times.
Product Page: Goals / Retirement ($25)
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