That’s right, weaning yourself off porn magazines has been a grueling road, and no doubt this magazine holder has provided more than its fair share of frustration as you tried in vain to take a dump and unlock the latest issue of “Screw” from the confusing maze of polished steel; but look at all you’ve accomplished! You have more patience, and you can accurately drop a deuce with only one cheek on the bowl. Bravo!
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If empowering yourself with the Diana Ross hit “I’m Coming Out” hasn’t given you the motivational lift you need to step out of the closet, it may be time to pick up an alarm clock designed specifically to get the ball rolling. In fact, you probably don’t even need to set it; just display the clock or its box somewhere where they can be seen and chances are that closet will vaporize in seconds.
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