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You have to figure that a sex slave doll is one toy that won’t complain if it is played with a bit roughly. As a matter of fact, the more it is tossed around, the more it will shout out “Oh yeah! Aaaah that’s good!”. As long as your dog doesn’t start coming home in leather and chains I don’t see any harm in it.
Product Page ($13.99)
This adorable puppy door chime greets guests with a cheerful “welcome” when they enter a room. The product page also suggests that it would make for a decent security alarm—meaning that thieves will also be greeted with hospitality.
Product Page ($4)
No need to try and convince your teacher that your dog ate your homework when you can bring the actual dog into class. You can use this dog storage box any time you need to keep a bunch of documents right at hand. The roof opens for easy access and stays closed with a magnet. And the goofy dog looks just as smart as the box he actually is.
Product Page ($24.95)
Taking a dog’s food and turning it against him by making it into a bark collar seems almost cruel, if it weren’t for the fact that there is nothing more annoying than an incessantly barking dog. An audible sound accompanied by a shock are triggered by barking. It won’t take him too long to associate all that barking with pain. As long as your pet isn’t a masochist.
Product Page ($8.93)
The Humping Dog Pen Holder is one of those gifts that are better to give than to receive. The poor little dog, who obviously hasn’t been neutered, will shake and wail when a pen is placed in that very private place. You would probably wail too if something was jammed into you where it didn’t belong.
Product Page (£5.99, about $9.80)
Just because you want to play a little fetch doesn’t mean you have to keep a drooling, shedding pet around. When Baxter the Dog detects the ball using infrared his head moves up and down and he can get the ball with his magnetic nose. You have control of him using the bone shaped remote, which is probably more control than you would ever have over your golden retriever.
Product Page (£32.99, about $54 available August 14)
Want to extract germs and bits of God knows what from a waterfall of slimy puppy ooze? Well, apparently someone does, otherwise this “shocking sick puppy” game wouldn’t exist. The goal is to extract more bits than your opponent without letting the metal part of your tweezers touch the slime, or else you’ll get buzzed and lose a turn. Plus, once the game ends you can enhance the atmosphere of your home by displaying your new plastic buddy who drools and has a permanent dribble of snot peering out one nostril. Thanks, Japan!
Product Page: ($50)
Nothing says “screw the poor” more than dropping $18,000 on a dog sculpted entirely from crayons. But if you’ve got the money to burn, this puppy promises years of inanimate companionship, dust collection and waxy scents.
Product Page: ($18,000)
Carrying around a bunch of biodegradable doggie clean up bags is chore in itself, never mind the actual cleaning up of the animal. Doing the same task when the bag dispenser is a fire hydrant is not only more fun but also more fitting. Knowing how dog treat fire hydrants you may want to keep this out of your dog’s reach.
Product Page ($5.99)
If you want your cat to use a cat scratcher instead of your couch to sharpen its claws, you need to give it something that it wants to scratch. Let it have a few minutes with this dog shaped scratcher and your couch will be free from scratch marks from then on. You may want to warn your dog about your plans first though. It is made of recycled cardboard, so it’s eco-friendly as well.
Product Page ($50)
