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Hey, don’t forget that cassettes kept you entertained with M.C. Hammer and, I dunno, Genesis in the ’80s and ’90s. No need to rub dirt all over the format now because you made a few bad choices back in the day.
Product Page ($50 via 7Gadgets)
Did I ever mention that Pitfall was one of my favorite Atari games? I say favorite, but what I really mean is that it irritated me so much that I became obsessed with it. Sometimes I can still hear that damn music in my head…
When you go to someone’s house and spot a greeting like this on their doormat, there are a few things about your impending visit that you can count on. For starters, If you go anywhere together, it will be in a pickup truck, and your companions will be a dog and a gun rack. 2. You won’t go the evening without hearing Patsy Cline at least once. 3. There will be a wagon wheel displayed somewhere on the premises. 4. Someone will be wearing a bolo tie. If that stuff doesn’t get you off, then you can always take solace in the fact that the food will most likely be excellent.
Product Page: ($15.95)
If I ever become absurdly wealthy, I plan to let myself sink into eccentricy. This will be my doormat—and I’ll back it up by answering the door wearing nothing but a sombrero and a bandolier.
Product Page ($25)
It is pretty hard for you to tell someone who has known you in the past that they have the wrong person when knocking at your door. This doormat handles it with a multi-level denial process. First it notifies them that the named person they are looking for is not there. But it is the doormat’s mustache and glasses as a disguise that completes the ruse. If they recognized you, it wouldn’t make much sense to try to deny who you were.
Product Page ($18)
The only other computer key that is remotely as close a match for a doormat is the Enter key. But that doormat assumes that you want people to randomly come in. This doormat simply tells people what they already knew.
Product Page ($25)
Collect roadkill doormats like trophies from a hunt (without having to do the dirty work yourself). Hey, you even nabbed a Koala!
Fortunately, these rugs are not made from real animals. That would just be…tacky.
Product Page (TBA)
After a long day of endless meetings and your hellish commute home you are a winner just for making it back home. This doormat celebrates that fact by giving you a finish line to cross as you get to the front door. No one would blame you if you raised your arms in triumph after crossing it. Worst case they will feel badly for your sorry example of a life.
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