Try licking any other light switch in your house. This version melts in your mouth, not the other way around.
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Lunch Punch’s Match and Munch sandwich cutters do more than just eliminate crusts, they allow your kids to piece together unholy puzzle sandwich combinations. Ordinarily, PB&J doesn’t fit with tuna fish, but they will lock together perfectly here into a devastating pukeular puzzle food bomb.
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From Swedish designers Michael Andersson and Maria Axelqvist comes the Fruit Slide. Combine this with the Getty Lamp and a piece of plywood and voila! Fruit Skee Ball.
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Eating it is one thing, but bathing with Ramen noodles takes stretching that meager college budget to whole new levels. Not to worry though, this Ramen won’t leave you smelling like chili lime shrimp—it’s actually liquid soap packaged to look like Ramen. Although, now that I think about it, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was actually scented like your favorite flavors. This is Japan we’re talking about after all.
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The Blood Energy Potion was okay tasting, but it falls a bit short if you crave human meat. That problem has been remedied with this bleeding heart gummy candy from Think Geek. Inside each heart is squishy candies full of liquid blood and, for good measure, they have also included a separate vial of blood if things just aren’t messy enough. I suppose it goes without saying, but you should probably wear a bib or a smock when you tear into one of these. Better yet, just stand naked in the bathtub.
The guys that brought you Roast My Weenie and the Weenie Wing Commander are back with the Samurai Roaster. The samurai this grilling tool was modeled after was a fearsome ancient warrior. As skilled with his shaft as he was with a blade, the legend of his sexual prowess was known across the land. Unfortunately, he met a tragic end when, during battle, he accidentally stepped on his manhood—falling onto his own sai. You honor his memory every time you skewer a hot dog on his member and cook it over a grill.
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Nice marketing, but c’mon, we’ve all seen kids eat. In reality, that construction zone would look like cleanup after a major earthquake. I bet none of those mixed vegetables would even be touching the plate since they would be busy flying toward the walls, the floor, your head, anyplace but the kid’s mouth. That’s what you get when you encourage kids to play with their food. But I’m sure this is better than giving them one of these. Check out the additional Chew Chew Train after the break.
There are three sets of chopsticks in the samurai sword series—all named after actual 17th century Japanese Samurai (Date Masamune, Sanada Yukimura and Maeda Keiji). Remember, great responsibility comes with owning an instrument of this caliber. Should you drop even one roll, you must stab yourself with a chopstick to retain you honor.
The product page claims this mousepad is fried, but it looks more like sunny side up to me. I prefer scrambled to be quite honest, but that would probably screw up the mouse tracking.
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The question of how to serve different foods that have no business being mixed together is solved with the Peace Platter. The individual sections will keep the various snack foods apart from each other and keep them from trying to overpower one another. Not to mention saving yourself from the wrath of those that have an irrational aversion to different foods touching.
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