When you’re out risking your life to save humanity each and every day, a few drinks, a little gambling and maybe a prostitute or two is forgivable. This Marvel Comics-themed slot machine comes refurbished from Japanese casinos and features a fully animated LCD screen and “Skill Stop” reels which require you to control when the reel stops—adding an element of skill to the game.
Product Page ($500)
Hit the Jackpot City birdhouse casino on Saturday night, then church on Sunday. All of the gambling, drinking and bird prostitutes are forgiven.
Product Page ($20)
The Deck Of Cards Flask will hide your gambling habit by making people think you have a drinking problem. I would think that playing a game of poker was a lot less destructive than the homeless wino, but I could be wrong. I guess there is always the possibility that the gambler may become a homeless wino if his luck turns bad.
Product Page ($45)
Finally pacifists have the chance to combine their love of peace with their love of hardcore gambling. This new variation of the card game “War” allows players to use a combination of love, peace, diversity, and unity cards. In addition, war can be temporarily avoided through cooperation and by trading decks. These cards are a great way to teach kindergartners the concept of peaceful competition and sharing, and they’re a fantastic way to get your ass kicked and have yourself branded a gigantic pussy when you whip them out on your next poker night.
Product Page ($5.39)
Each card in these standard 52 card decks features macabre illustrations to go along with a fact or a statistic about why you should not smoke or do drugs. Apparently, the manufacturer felt that becoming a gambling addict is a small price to pay to kick your nasty chemical dependencies. Available in Life, Death on Drugs or Death on Cigarettes versions.
Product Page ($5 per deck, bulk pricing available)
As I am sure you have heard, The Dark Knight opens today. While it may technically be all about Batman, we all know that Heath Ledger’s Joker is going to steal the show. Speaking of stealing, you can use this Joker Poker set to take money from friends and strangers alike. While they are mesmerized by the 54 prop replica Joker cards, the second 54 card deck defaced by the Joker, the Joker-themed 100 piece chip set and the slick black aluminum carrying case, you can cheat to win.
Product Page ($84—August pre-order)
Gas prices getting you down? Bill collectors knocking at your door? Have a raging meth addiction to feed? I have an answer to all of your troubles my friend…and it is called gambling. These two violin gaming sets will help get you started. The first is a straight-up casino set featuring roulette, blackjack, poker cards and chips. The second version (pictured after the break) is a 12-in-1 set with chess, roulette, checkers, black jack, solitaire, straight mill, backgammon, playing board, dice, dominoes, poker dice and Chinese checkers. Why the second version costs around 1/3 the price is beyond me, but hey—that is what I call a bargain.
This miniature Texas Hold’em poker table features a miniature deck of cards, chips, and dealer button – so you can actually play a round or two while at work. If you decide to pick this up, keep in mind that the farsighted and fat fingered make for the easiest prey.
Product Page ($16.98)
A great gift for anyone you know who lives for gambling. It is not ideal because there is no way to bet on it, but at least they feast their eyes on the elusive royal flush every time they go to make their tea in the morning. Not sure how something as shady as gambling got mixed up with a nice cup of tea, but here you have it in any case.
Product Page ($19.90)
A Working Slot Machine Lamp would be a fun accessory for any den or game room – just remember that gambling addiction is a serious problem. At first you just stick a few nickels in the lamp, but before you know it you’ve lost your house, your kids, and your wife is sleeping with your brother.
Product Page ($79.98 – ships in mid October )
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