You know how it goes. You start the night off with a few Atari pints then you end up switching to Atari shots at some point—against your better judgment of course. One thing leads to another and eventually you wake up in a puddle of your own vomit wearing lederhosen with bite marks on your nipples that aren’t human. Happens every time.
Product Page ($30)
This two-tired glass is marked “half empty” and “half full” a the top. Guess which side you need to drink your tiny cup-full of beer? Think of it as an optimist training device.
Product Page (TBA)
From Fashionably Geek: I have two words for you: burrito-vision. That’s right, you will have the power of the burrito—the ability to look at someone and make them fart uncontrollably. Now that’s a superpower.
Also available in brick and sponge versions, which give you the power to…uh, manipulate walls and give sponge baths from a distance?
With a pair of these self-adhesive mirrors on the wall, you can check yourself out just like if you were looking at someone with mirrored sunglasses on. But these won’t make you feel creepy when you can’t see where that person’s eyes are looking. The aviator theme is unmistakable with that unique shape.
Product Page (£79.80, about $127)
From Fashionably Geek: Besides looking like an idiot, clipping this reading light onto your glasses is sure to leave you cross-eyed. I mean, you’re reading…not mining. And miners have the good sense to wear headlamps.
Product Page (£4 or $6)
It may look like an innocent, cute way to label your glass at a party, but the real benefits kick in when you’re having the same drink as that chick who’s rocking the massive cold sore on her lip.
Product Page: ($15.96)
TV junkies can use this tin as a glasses case so that they can always have a remote nearby. You could also confuse a gift recipient by packing your small gift into it. They will probably think that the remote is just the first part of an awesome two part gift, but once they find out it is just a tin they will have to content themselves with whatever is inside, be that expensive jewelry or bacon gumballs.
Product Page (£3.00, about $4.50)
It is pretty hard for you to tell someone who has known you in the past that they have the wrong person when knocking at your door. This doormat handles it with a multi-level denial process. First it notifies them that the named person they are looking for is not there. But it is the doormat’s mustache and glasses as a disguise that completes the ruse. If they recognized you, it wouldn’t make much sense to try to deny who you were.
Product Page ($18)
You pour yourself a nightcap and sit down in your favorite chair to relax. Just then you notice that your scotch is staring back at you. Startled, you jump out of the chair, tossing your glass in the process. “I’ve gotta quit drinking” you mutter to yourself.
Product Page ($18-$20)
Get a friend of yours over to your place, pour a couple shots and face off. Each of you can grab the pistol grip handle and point the double barrels at each other as you choke down that moonshine. After seeing these. i can’t believe you would do shots with any other glass.
Product Page ($16)
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