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I don’t care whether this shades wearing, gut hanging out bear money bank is pulling a bank heist or preventing one—either way the bear has a weapon and is prepared to use it in the name of my money’s safety. That is more effort than even I am willing to exert.
Product Page (£4.99, about $8)
Start out learning with these blocks instead of conventional ones and you may end up as a terrible speller who happens to be able to field strip a machine gun blindfolded…with his ass cheeks. The disassembled gun is pictured after the break.
It’s outrageously expensive, but your $900 investment will buy you what the manufacturer considers to be “the most accurate replica ever produced.” Yeah, they lost me at $900. Still, this M14A was meticulously crafted using an existing Pulse Rifle from the movie as a model. It also features a moving grenade launcher pump, retractable stock and a light up LED counter that displays “95″ when the magazine is inserted. Apparently, only 250 pieces were produced worldwide—precisely the amount of people on this planet willing to spend this much money on an elaborate toy gun. So get it while you can. Additional images are available after the break.
Nobody will question your dedication to firepower when you come home and hang your coat, hat or bandoleer on a resin gunhook. And although the unmanly colors suggest that they were dipped in Paas Easter egg dye at some point, you can be sure that guests would have to have some large balls or no brain to bring it up.
Product Page: (1,600 Yen, or about $17)
This Big Gun Brush won’t give that dirt a chance. Use it for your keyboard or monitor, either way you just have to unholster your weapon and start brushing. The dirt may start running at just the sight of this large bore brush.
Product Page ($37)
If you’re a man who loves crystal but doesn’t want to put a Disney character, dolphin or ballerina sculpture on your desk, say hello to the crystal Colt .45 Peacemaker. You won’t have to worry about your masculinity when you combine your favorite medium with the most famous firearm of the old west. Add an old wagon wheel, some Roy Rogers album covers, and the crystal cowboy boot pictured after the break and you’ll feel more like you’re in a western themed steakhouse than your office.
Posing for an old timey photo anytime soon? If you bathe and shave daily, and happen to have a full set of teeth, you won’t be able to get the complete stereotypical vibe of the 19th century west, even if your woman is wearing fishnets and you’re surrounded by “wanted” posters. Our recommendation? Try using a mirror with four revolvers surrounded by what appears to be ammo; it’s as natural to an old timey western setting as whiskey and death.
Product Page: (Price available upon request)
Next time you face your crippling fear of the dark, back up the boogeyman killing power of light with the secure feeling of a submachine gun. This limited edition Uzi light is made from lacquered metal, has an illuminating tip and measures H18 x L17.5 x D5.25 in. Additional designs are pictured after the break.
Powered off this light looks like your average plastic toy. But turn it on and you get an inside view of what is really going on. You can see the chambered round, the full clip and spring mechanism for firing. The one downside to this gun is that your rival will be able to see exactly how many rounds you have left. That could cause you some real problems.
Product Page ($24.95)
Your typical disposable lighter is designed very well for its intended purpose of lighting up various smoking products. Obviously someone felt that it was not designed quite well enough for the purpose of lighting other things on fire, like birthday candles. With the Pistolight you can just insert your disposable lighter into the pistol grip handle and it is now perfectly suited for lighting whatever you desire. And unlike the pistol shaped novelty lighters you can purchase, this one will not be mistaken for an actual gun.
