The Diet Piggy: A Little Shame Can Go a Long Way
Chances are you are either on a diet, considering going on a diet or in denial about how fat you really are. This diet piggy employs the time-honored method of shame to reverse that ever expanding waistline. Just place him in the fridge and whenever you open the door it will grunt—reminding you lay off [...]
Squeeze a Prostate For Stress Relief
Damn this enlarged prostate! I can no longer enjoy my active, water drinking lifestyle! (*squeeze* *squeeze*)
If that sounds like you, a few squeezes of this stress prostate will provide you with a small measure of relief.
Product Page (negotiable bulk pricing)
Artery Pens Remind You of Your Own Mortality
The pens in this set are authentic replicas of a human artery—right down to the heart-stopping plaque. Each pen features one healthy artery and one clogged artery to remind you that your doom could be only one bacon cheeseburger away.
Product Page ($4.95)
Moose Masseuse: It is Even Dumber Than it Sounds
This microwaveable, spice-filled moose can help melt away tension with a blend of aromatherapy and hot or cold muscle treatment. If a little heat is in order, chuck him in the micro for 90 seconds. If you want a little cool soothing action, put him in the freezer for an hour. Now that is [...]
Retro Condom Caddy: Are You “Lucky” or “Cocky?”
Why store condoms in your wallet when you can keep them safe in one of these retro-inspired brushed steel condom cases? The best part is that they double as a pill case so you have convenient access to your sex AND drugs. Now all you need is some rock.
Product Page ($30)
Extra Strength Denial Pills
Dealing with all of your issues on daily basis can get old fast. Tackling each problem is certainly one way to deal with it. Don’t even think about problems anymore. Just a couple denial pills and you can take the easy way out.
Product Page ($4.95)
Froggie Humidifier
What do you think of when you see a frog? Water of course. So why not shape a child-friendly humidifier like a frog? Rather than some lifeless box spewing out steam you can have a frog breathing smoke for your kid’s rooms. That has to be better, doesn’t it? Or could it just lead to [...]
Cathy Cowgirl: The Weirdest Thing You Will Ever Be Attracted To
I know what you’re thinking…cowboy boots, a gun, and sexy feminine curves. You sick bastards!
Actually, Cathy here is a recurring character from the work of artist Ron English that makes a statement against the dairy industry’s use of bovine growth hormones. Unfortunately, only 450 pieces were made and they are probably long gone by [...]
Over the Hill Rectal Thermometer
Know an older person who is always complaining about their ailments? Next time they try to bore you with the details and complaining, just pull out this rectal thermometer. That should get them over their ailments real quick.
Product Page ($7.19)
The Landeez Beach Wheelchair
Who says that only able-bodied people can enjoy the great outdoors? The Landeez Beach Wheelchair can make just about anything possible.
The Landeez is an all-terrain wheelchair that rides easily over sand, snow and gravel. Great for the beach, its Marine Grade stainless steel frame will not rust or corrode, even in saltwater. The Landeez can [...]
