Not quite—this is just a bootleg lighter. Don’t confuse the two lest you get a mouthful of butane.
lighter
Will you be the coolest person at the bar when you break out this tool case, pull out the drill and give that lady the light she was looking for? Well, not cool like James Bond. More like Bob Vila.
Product Page ($10)
You are going to need to make some money off this roulette wheel lighter to continue being able to afford your ever more expensive cigarettes. Every time you strike up the lighter, the lights on the roulette wheel spin around and end up on one of the numbers. Take some bets and hope your luck holds out long enough for the house edge to guarantee you some winnings.
Product Page ($6.99)
Judging from the product description, it’s obvious that nobody wanted to fess up to the fact that they’re selling a gas lighter that looks a lot like a phallus. However, it will come in handy if you want to produce a public awareness ad focused on preventing promiscuous sex. All you have to do is take this lighter and say “This is your penis” then set it ablaze and say “This is your penis on the clap….Any questions?”
Product Page: ($24)
You may be surprised to learn that besides getting these awesome lighter shaped candles for your favorite smokers birthday cake, you will also need to get one that actually works to light them. Seems like a lot of duplication and a failing on the part of the manufacturer. It couldn’t cost them much to add one working lighter with the pack.
Product Page ($8.95)
Besides the obvious dangers of fire, this crab claw lighter looks like it would do some serious ball poking in your pocket.
Product Page ($8)
King Kong may be of no use to you, but this miniature version of his offspring will be useful whenever you need a nicotine fix. A quick squeeze on his head and he will breathe fire on demand. Which means this particular ape is better off in your pocket than the wild, because only you can prevent forest fires.
Product Page ($7)
For the first time you can get yourself the nuclear fuel cell that is embedded in every Terminator’s chest. This is the highest tech fuel cell you can buy today. You will find that it does not really provide you any power at all, but it will be handy for lighting a cigarette. I am not sure why Skynet built a lighter into their fuel cells, you would think a Terminator would know better than to smoke.
Product Page ($17.99 2nd quarter 2009 release)
Why would anyone make a keychain butane lighter shaped like a pot full of steamed buns? The answer can be found in a bigger, more important question: what’s up with Japan?
Product Page ($3)
No, this isn’t a cigarette lighter that hangs from your cellphone, it’s actually just a LED flashlight. Why it is shaped like a pipe with a cigarette dangling from it is beyond me.
Product Page ($5)
