Don’t let your Banana Brothers Salt and Pepper Set be the extent of your monkey kitchen utensils. The Captain Banana Corkscrew features yet another monkey, though one that does no work at all. When you place Captain Banana over the bottle to be opened, he just sits there. The cork is removed by spinning the parrot on top of his head. That is probably why he has that stupid grin on his face.
Product Page (£34.00, about $48)
Want a doorbell for your bedroom or dorm? The monkey doorbell makes quick work of it—all you need to do is mount the buzzer on the outside and the electronic bell on the inside using a simple screw or hook. When the button is pressed, the occupant will be alerted with a chimpanzee scream. You can even swap out the monkey picture and insert one of your own. An additional image is available after the break.
What are Chuckle Buddies you ask? Well, Marlin the Monkey and Paul the Pooch do nothing but roll around on the floor laughing hysterically. There is also a cat in the video, but only the monkey and the dog are for sale. So, there is either a third, mysterious Chuckle Buddy out there, or a screwed-up cat is roaming the offices at Baron Bob. Images are available after the break.
If we got monkeys running the show on Wall Street then that would go a long way in explaining why the economy is currently in the mess that it is in. I mean, he’s playing solitaire—right there you know he isn’t paying attention. Plus he takes like 50 banana breaks a day. And is office? Yeah, that’s covered in poop. Can’t find a thing in there.
Product Page ($9 / February Pre-Order)
He doesn’t talk much, but you can tell that this monkey likes to party. Powered by the sun, he will turn your flowerbed into a dance club by alternating between red, green and blue LED colors.
Product Page ($20)
There is no better visual cue that it is cold out than this brass monkey. Once the temperature gets to be frigid, about 23 degrees Fahrenheit, a piece of his anatomy drops off as illustrated in the picture above. This will bring life to the adage “cold enough to freeze the b…s off a brass monkey.” To reset him all you have to do is let him thaw out a bit and reattach his boys. This may be the only time you find emasculation amusing.
Product Page ($35)
You can show up to your next dinner party bringing your gift of wine in a fancy bag or a paper bag. But neither of those will light the place up like the Sock Monkey Wine Holder. Who wouldn’t appreciate an expensive bottle in a cheap sock? They will just have to assume that the sock was clean, there is a 50-50 shot of that.
Product Page ($14.95)
Urban artist Kyle Thompson’s “Headphone Monkey” can listen to his jams and make unflattering assessments of your naked body now that he is available in shower curtain form.
Product Page ($25)
That’s right, this chicken will help keep your laptop (and your legs cool) with a fan vent system powered by USB. Also available in monkey, opera face, cat, dog, bear, penguin and lion versions. Additional images available after the break.
Toss out those drab old speakers and upgrade to a speaker monkey. He will work with any device with a standard audio jack and he is super soft and cuddly—which means that all of your friends will be clamoring to touch your monkey.
Product Page ($6.88 for one monkey)
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