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Forget water or Gatorade, a true athlete knows that the best way to stay hydrated is to bring a bottle full of bacon squeezins, pickle brine or robot monkey banana juice to the gym. It gives you the energy you need to really achieve that slim and trim figure you always wanted (and all of that puking doesn’t hurt either). A gallery of these unique stainless steel bottles is available after the break.
What are Chuckle Buddies you ask? Well, Marlin the Monkey and Paul the Pooch do nothing but roll around on the floor laughing hysterically. There is also a cat in the video, but only the monkey and the dog are for sale. So, there is either a third, mysterious Chuckle Buddy out there, or a screwed-up cat is roaming the offices at Baron Bob. Images are available after the break.
If we got monkeys running the show on Wall Street then that would go a long way in explaining why the economy is currently in the mess that it is in. I mean, he’s playing solitaire—right there you know he isn’t paying attention. Plus he takes like 50 banana breaks a day. And is office? Yeah, that’s covered in poop. Can’t find a thing in there.
Product Page ($9 / February Pre-Order)
He doesn’t talk much, but you can tell that this monkey likes to party. Powered by the sun, he will turn your flowerbed into a dance club by alternating between red, green and blue LED colors.
Product Page ($20)
There is a long-winded and artsy story behind the Banana Bros on the product page, but when you get right down to it we are talking about to cute salt and pepper-filled monkeys riding in a banana kayak. Makes total sense doesn’t it?
Product Page ($36)
It’s hard not to stare, but these desktop goblins are actually quite sensitive about their freakishly large heads. It’s best to just quietly stick your paperclips and coins in their mouth and not eyeball them. An additional version is pictured after the break with a monkey is thrown in for good measure.
Just put this little monkey man in contact with the sun and he will start nodding away. Ask him “am I attractive?” to boost your self-esteem. Inquire about your future with questions like “will I become rich and famous?” You can even learn a little about his personal life with questions like “you like to throw you poop don’t you?”
Product Page (£5.99 or $11.36)
The vinyl toy above features Oshi, the fearsome monkey ninja. But who is Oshi exactly? The product site describes him thusly:
“With excellent dexterity, Oishi (Macaca fuscata sapiens) has mastered the use of the traditional Japanees sword. Studying both Samurai and Ninja techniques alike, Oishi is a fearsome opponent on the battlefield, displaying great skill, speed and stealth. When in close quarters, he also uses rock-filled snowballs to bean humans in the head before finishing them off with his sword.”
Plus, when the chips are down he will throw poop at you – and you don’t want any part of that.
Product Page ($34.99)
Here you have a very laid back monkey. Does he move around? Does he talk? Is he some sort of electronic gadget? None of the above. He is just a laid back monkey, and a laid back monkey doesn’t do a damn thing.
Product Page ($12.95)
