It’s hard not to stare, but these desktop goblins are actually quite sensitive about their freakishly large heads. It’s best to just quietly stick your paperclips and coins in their mouth and not eyeball them. An additional version is pictured after the break with a monkey is thrown in for good measure.
Just put this little monkey man in contact with the sun and he will start nodding away. Ask him “am I attractive?” to boost your self-esteem. Inquire about your future with questions like “will I become rich and famous?” You can even learn a little about his personal life with questions like “you like to throw you poop don’t you?”
Product Page (£5.99 or $11.36)
The vinyl toy above features Oshi, the fearsome monkey ninja. But who is Oshi exactly? The product site describes him thusly:
“With excellent dexterity, Oishi (Macaca fuscata sapiens) has mastered the use of the traditional Japanees sword. Studying both Samurai and Ninja techniques alike, Oishi is a fearsome opponent on the battlefield, displaying great skill, speed and stealth. When in close quarters, he also uses rock-filled snowballs to bean humans in the head before finishing them off with his sword.”
Plus, when the chips are down he will throw poop at you – and you don’t want any part of that.
Product Page ($34.99)
Here you have a very laid back monkey. Does he move around? Does he talk? Is he some sort of electronic gadget? None of the above. He is just a laid back monkey, and a laid back monkey doesn’t do a damn thing.
Product Page ($12.95)
Squeezing this Monkey Groan Ball supposedly reduces stress, but doing so sets off sounds that have been described as “the groans of a monkey that has been inhaling helium.” Doesn’t sound all that relaxing to me.
Product Page ( $4.95 – set of 2 )
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