Although these are actually illuminated bedside tables, it’s hard to ignore the resemblance to those tiny desks you used in elementary school. All I need is one of those uncomfortable chairs with the big hole in the ass and some fruit snacks and I’m ready for storytime. Although it’s also nice to have something light the way to the bathroom at 4AM when you’re groggy and need to piss. Check out some additional photos after the break.
night light
Think of it as a night light specifically made for warding of ghosts.
Product Page ($100/Pre-Order for November)
You want mood lighting? You got it with this RC Star Wars lightsaber wall light. It’s cuts through the dark as quickly as it cuts through a potential sexual experience with 7 different color effects you can change at the push of a button.
A wall clock is not a normal bedroom accessory. That is because without being able to see it in the dark it is pretty useless. This clock will look like a normal wall clock during the day, but once it gets dark the clock takes on an eerie glow that makes it visible all night. Also works well in the living room for those nights that you screw up and sleep on the couch.
Product Page ($19.71)
You wouldn’t think that a small carnivore like a fox could be so useful in a bedroom. Use the light in his tail to light up the night for reading or any other bedroom activity you wish to illuminate. When it is time to sleep, turn the tail off and light up his little head for a softly glowing night light; as long as you can forget the fact that he is a predator.
Product Page ($28.95)
I thought the main purpose of a nightlight was to bring kids peace of mind—not nightmares about aliens, interplanetary war and probes.
Product Page ($27.95 / Customizable)
The Blow Light is a nice little flickering night light, fairly unobtrusive. When you want to turn it off, just blow it out. To turn it back on just blow on it again. Sort of like the like clapper without the noise. Give it to that blowhard in your family.
Product Page (£3.99, about $8)
Don’t worry guys, you can trust this John Wayne Sensor night light to protect you from the ghosts, monsters, aliens…and Indians that hunt you in the dark. The sensor automatically detects when light levels are low and illuminates to display the phrase “a man’s got to do what a man’s got to do.” If there is a product more rugged than this, I haven’t seen it.
Product Page ($9.95)
