Obviously the key word here is “novelty.” After all, who the hell is going to mistake you for Brad Pitt? Plus, the picture on the license is a bit dated. Brad’s current look is more appropriate on an AARP card. Oooh…snap! Reverse image after the break.
The classic Hamburger Phone has recently been thrust back into prominence after appearing in the cinematic tour de force that is the movie Juno. However, it may have some stiff competition from the pig phone and its priceless snoring ringtone. So will it be pork or beef? You decide.
Product Page ($22)
Having trouble getting up in the morning? Just cram this candle up your ass far enough to reach the appropriate time marked on the side. Then light it up, sleep on your stomach and wait for the inevitable (which will probably be the fire department and the paramedics barreling towards your house. Now that is an alarm!)
Product Page (Pricing upon request.)
Impress your colleagues and clients when you whip out this finger shaped pen and ask them to pull on it. The five different fart sounds it generates are guaranteed to delight — not to mention earn you deals and promotions galore.
Product Page ($3.39 each)
The Time Flies Flying Clock is not functional as a timepiece, but it will fly about the room whilst suspended on a string as a fun little reminder that your life is slowly slipping away. The hands turn quickly and the wings flap up and down —which I am sure is not annoying in the least. Who wouldn’t want one of these?
Product Page ($8)
…then two plastic love birds are having loud, dirty, hippie sex. With one press of a button, the two lovers will slide back and forth, the van will rock, the headlights will flash, and the moans and groans will commence.
Product Page ($24.95)
Apparently, this 6′ Copper Penis Butane Lighter is “the largest Penis Dick Lighter made.” With that kind of pedigree, I’m sure that you will be proud to own it.
Product Page ($5.95)
A good pen is hard to find, even harder to hold on to. This seller has a whole slew of pens that will be easy to recognize as your own, but I will still bet people will be stealing them right and left. Who wouldn’t want to have writing implements as awesome as the hot dog pen, pizza pen, lipstick pen and many, many more. See a couple more after the break.
Product Page ($4.99-24.99)
The warning label on this novelty wine case reads: “Warning: May Cause Immediate Affection Towards Others.” Amusing, but waking up in bed with your boss and her husband with the taste of peanut butter in your mouth is certainly no laughing matter.
Product Page ( £5.99 or $11.36)
Start each month of right with 12 doses of sexy buttcrack. Who can resist “the plumber,” “the cable guy,” and “the fat guy at the pool?”
Product Page ($13.95)
[tags]butt related, calendar, funny, novelty[/tags]
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