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Did you watch It’s Alway’s Sunny In Philadelphia yesterday? If so, you may have noticed the gang’s unique ideas for merchandising Paddy’s Pub. Well, maybe the “shot” gun wasn’t all that original, but the Dick Towel…good friggin’ Lord, the Dick Towel was hilarious. Not surprisingly, I found out you can actually dry off with this perverted piece of Americana for only $20! Still not convinced that you absolutely need this? Check out the hilarious video after the break (NSFW).
Being relegated to laying on the floor just got a bit more enjoyable with these two Sex Rugs. Both available rugs are made with ‘experimental craftsmanship’ with some longer shag left for the purchaser to style/trim as they wish. Aphrodite, pictured above, is the more demure of the two just showing her backside. Diana, pictured after the break, obviously has no body issues as she displays even more shag that is just waiting to be trimmed per your preference.
Just fill the mold with water and freeze for two days—your patience will be rewarded with an ice cold boob luge for bachelor parties, Superbowl Sunday, family reunions…whatever.
Product Page ($25)
From Fashionably Geek: You know those long johns with the buttoned butt flap—the kind of thing you might expect an old prospector to wear? Well, the centerfold t-shirt is kind of like that, only the image underneath this flap is something you wouldn’t mind seeing.
Product Page (NSFW) ($30 / Coming soon)
Need some hands free lighting? How about pushing those boring conventional flashlights aside and lighting up your junk with three ultra bright LEDs and a tuft of pink pubes courtesy of this Playazon Merkin Flashlight? You can rename your genitals “Crotch Cousteau” and allow them to blaze an uncharted path from the bed to the bathroom without waking your partner. Plus you get a second set of forbidden fur in “Arctic White” for you older folk who want the carpet to match the drapes. Yup, crotch lighting is all about inclusion.
Product Page: ($45)
If you enjoyed the chauvinistic, boob bouncing action of the original Bobble Babes, you will love the Jingle Babe Christmas edition can cooler. That’s right…these boobs are made from bells. Festive!
Product Page ($8)
Your car should reflect your personality and nothing would give it quite the same feel as a replica of the blow up doll that takes up an inordinate amount of your time and attention. There is no one, besides your mother, girlfriends or any woman at all, who would object to this dashboard accessory as a personal statement. Something to consider for that new teen driver.
Product Page ($9.99)
If your pretentious, wine loving friend is looking for a something a little different for his wine cellar, see if they have one of these wine stoppers. Nothing works up a thirst for a fine vintage more than a buxom pole dancer. And like that fine bottle of wine, a night at a strip club will cost you a bundle.
Product Page ($9 / NSFW Link)
Yes, Halloween is only a couple of weeks away—but I just couldn’t resist a Christmas product this bizarre. When I was a kid growing up in New York, I watched the Yule Log every year on WPIX. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at it), that Yule Log did not feature women dancing around in their underwear…or reindeer costumes.
Product Page ($20)
It appears that the folks at Scandalous Inventions are planning to expand on their empire of boobie beer bongs to include a few new objects that will surely get college kids and managers at Spencer’s Gifts giddy with excitement. The “Johnson Juicer” (illustrated by Wolverine here) shoots measured shots out of a dual chambered dong bong. Awesome right? But there is more…oh so much more pictured after the break.
