Each Pet Dick is individually hand sculpted at the artist’s studio in NY. It includes kindness and care instructions as well as an artist signed, dated and hand numbered Certificate of Authenticity card. Because God forbid you get a Pet Dick that is not authentic.
Each Pet Dick comes with a ventilated “Pet Dick carrier and Spanish Moss bedding”.
Product Page ($13.69)
The Mr. P Towel Holder is impressive not only for his ability to hold a towel on one of his appendages, but to have an appendage large to hold a towel on. Try something a little heavier to see what this guy is really made of.
Product Page (£10.00, about $20)
Marvel at the fine craftsmanship and the versatility of this Penis Pencil Sharpener. Convenient pee-hole pencil insertion insures a sharp point every time. And with the shavings collecting neatly in the nutsack, clean up is a snap. Plus, it doubles as a paperweight. A must have for any office.
Product Page ($4.83)
Something tells me that this little dude shouldn’t be smiling —he should be heading to a doctor.
Product Page ($8.69)
They couldn’t give this lamp guy some clothes? Of course they couldn’t, if he were wearing pants you wouldn’t be able to access the switch. If it takes you more than one guess as to where the switch is, you have not been reading this blog enough. I personally like him without the shade on.
Product Page ($99.95)
I thought the Britney Spears “Oops I Did it Again” action figure was going to be the weirdest thing I cam across this week, but this Dancing Dick just might give Britney a run for her money. Big Willie here will bust a move to Aerosmith / Run DMCs “Walk this Way” whenever someone crosses the path of his motion sensor. He even features a sideways baseball cap for that authentic urban look.
Product Page (£9.99 or $21)
Should the 70s porno guy pictured above have a honkin’ ankle spanker, a little admiral, or should he put on some friggin’ pants? You decide.
Product Page (£3.99 or $8)
Apparently, this 6′ Copper Penis Butane Lighter is “the largest Penis Dick Lighter made.” With that kind of pedigree, I’m sure that you will be proud to own it.
Product Page ($5.95)
No chicken will put fear into most men like this one will. Any man is willing to brag about measurements, but don’t give him a fair measuring device like this one. You’ll probably hear a lot of talk about cold water and shrinkage.
Product Page (£9.99, about $20)
Who would be responsible for manufacturing pouches made from real Kangaroo scrotums? Why those wacky Australians of course! Apparently, possessing a kangaroo nutsack is supposed to assure “long life, happiness, and healthy children.” Still, I feel that I must invoke the old saying about rabbit’s feet here – namely, it wasn’t so lucky for the kangaroo was it?
By the way, the “coin purse” design above is their hot seller. How fitting.
More designs after the break.
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