A perfect companion to the Gaydar detector keychain, Dickdar claims to size up a subject with their pants on. Just point and shoot—the Dickdar will analyze the “data” and respond with one of three phrases:
- “That penis is a weapon of mass destruction”
- “Um”…Hung like a field mouse”
- “Mmm…Short & thick will do the trick”.
Too bad it doesn’t feature a “No penis detected” response. That would come in handy when confronted with prostitutes of a questionable gender.
Product Page (£7 or $11)
When it comes to boner fitness, it’s important to have a well-rounded routine if you want to stay Viagra-free into your old age. That means you need to spend time lifting weights and doing a little cardio.
Product Page ($13)
It appears that the folks at Scandalous Inventions are planning to expand on their empire of boobie beer bongs to include a few new objects that will surely get college kids and managers at Spencer’s Gifts giddy with excitement. The “Johnson Juicer” (illustrated by Wolverine here) shoots measured shots out of a dual chambered dong bong. Awesome right? But there is more…oh so much more pictured after the break.
You may never be able to use your penis as a weapon or maintain a 50 to 200 year erection, but Duster D can. These planters are made from scratch, stand 12” tall and also have customizable hair and beard color, clothing, and even tattoos. You can turn Duster D into a stallion with a wang several feet long, or subject him to a life of shame with a pecker that’s less than an inch, all depending on the type of cactus you use. So increase your self-esteem or one-up nature, the choice is yours.
Product Page (From $29.99)
Let’s face it, the Gi-Joes we have idolized over the years as plastic pinnacles of military manliness are actually not affiliated with either gender. Stepping up to Big Joe clears up that confusion by adding one key anatomical ingredient—the flex-action little joe.
Product Page ($20)
Friends: Asylum• Fosfor Gadgets• Geek Girl Diva • Geeks Are Sexy• Obvious Winner• TechEBlog• Technabob• Uber-Review•
