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This rubber fetch ball gives your dog a long, luxurious handlebar mustache. Of course, this also gives you the opportunity to rename the dog “Sir Reginald Higginsbottom III” and outfit him with a vest, pocket watch and monocle. Dreams really do come true. An additional image is available after the break.
Much like your parents would offer dessert as a reward for eating your vegetables, the finicky feeder dog bowl trains pets to eat their entire meal by rewarding them with a snack concealed in a chamber at the bottom of the bowl. Rewarding eating with more eating. This is why all of us are so fat.
Product Page ($12-$15)
The Animal Sounds Babble Ball is so sensitive, even a pet breathing on it can set off a variety of animal sounds including a lion, frog, coyote, dog, pigs, horse, rooster, elephant, cow, goat, cat, and a variety of birds (20 in all). It’s a hollow victory, but it will be a real confidence builder for your wiener dog.
Product Page ($9)
Which one of these magnets doesn’t belong? If you said the kid, sorry—that is incorrect. I met his mother once…huge bitch.
Product Page ($11)
The product page for the Aqua Bomb says it will “compliment your environment” and “add a little tranquility to any home or office”. Whew! That’s a relief. I just couldn’t own fish if they had to swim around a normal aquarium, it would put the kibosh on the munitions vibe I was trying to maintain around my pad. Plus I’d lose out on all the therapeutic benefits that only a goldfish filled MK-84 can offer. Thank you, Aqua Bomb!
Product Page: (Price available upon request)
What are Chuckle Buddies you ask? Well, Marlin the Monkey and Paul the Pooch do nothing but roll around on the floor laughing hysterically. There is also a cat in the video, but only the monkey and the dog are for sale. So, there is either a third, mysterious Chuckle Buddy out there, or a screwed-up cat is roaming the offices at Baron Bob. Images are available after the break.
The Crazy Wrestler chew toy talks smack to your dog anytime he gets near it with challenges like “I’m gonna stick you in a Boston Crab!” or “You’ll never get my belt little doggy.” It may also be the reason why Mickey Rourke’s face is so jacked up.
Product Page ($13)
Even though you’ll both still live in your own filth, when you hook your hamster, gerbil or mouse up with this rocket ship funhouse you’ll most likely conclude that your favorite rodent has a cooler looking place than you do. And if you give him a mate and one of those little exercise wheels, he probably gets laid more and is in better shape too.
Product Page: ($5.49)
Some people enjoy discovering fine wine and sharing it on special occasions. To commemorate those memorable times you can use these cork pets to act as reminders. The body of each is made of the cork from that fine vintage while the pewter shapes make them look like decorations rather than junk. They are cast in pewter and available in feline, labrador and dachshund shapes.
Product Page ($40)
Chihuahuas already have self-esteem issues—that’s why they shake so much. It’s a mixture of fear and rage. Fear of being stepped on, rage at endless off-color Taco Bell jokes. Putting them in a trash can pet bed sends a clear message that only makes matters worse.
Product Page ($52.99 / Also available for cats)
