What are the aerodynamic properties of plastic poop? Will anyone ever play frisbee with you again? These questions and more can be answered for only $4.
Product Page ($4)
poop
Wow…just wow. Maybe he could be Barbie’s crazy stalker with an irritable bowel. You know—hiding in the bushes outside the dream house, pooping his pants. I just don’t know.
Product Page ($9)
There are two stages of life where there is a lot of disgusting stuff going on, anything before 3 years old and the typical college student. This kit of towels for cleaning them up will get more use than anything else you could buy for them. I think the baby wins the poop category, but the college student blows him away in the puke and gross categories. We’ll call tinkle a tie.
Product Page ($51)
The things that some dogs will eat pretty much grosses me out, but if you can’t beat them join them. I would rather my dog go around chewing on this Squeaking Poop Shaped Chew Toy than the real thing. That I will listen to the damn dog squeaking poop for hours on end tells you just how gross I really find it.
Product Page ($6.95)
Just attach this Toilet Tunes device to the bottom of your toilet lid and let the soothing musical sounds caress your bowels into action. The product site also suggests that these sounds could also be used to mask any unpleasant noises. Nice.
Product Page ($29.98)
When is turd humor not funny? Never as far as I am concerned. I am thinking this is a perfect gift for that know-it-all older brother. It will perfectly illustrate the difference in how he sees himself and how others see him.
Product Page (about $20 US)
Why the hell someone would want a five cent chain attached to two plush pieces of shit is beyond me. But there is definitely a lesson to be learned here for any aspiring entrepreneur. People will buy ANYTHING.
Product Page ( $13.60 )
Those damn birds. They poop all the friggin’ time. Worse yet, they poop on your nice clean car. Be prepared with the Grumpy Girl Auto Bird Turd Emergency Kit.
Each kit features a spray bottle of water, cleaning fluid, shop towels, ziploc bags, cleaner wax, a microfiber sponge, and antibacterial hand wipes – in short, everything to need to handle some serious shit.
Also available in a masculine “Shit Kit” for guys.
Product Page: Auto Bird Turd ( $28 ) / Shit Kit ( $32.95 )
What better toy for your kids to cuddle up to than a crapper with a face? None that I can think of that’s for sure.
A character from Pants Pancrow, a children’s television show on Japan’s NHK, this plush Mr. Toilet is another delightfully odd asian import. He measures a regal 9″ tall and about 7″ from bowl to tank. Plush Mr. Toilet features velcro in the front, so you can lift the seat up and down, and soft turquoise “hardware” on the back. Curiously enough, his face doubles as the toilet lid, which you can actually close.
A plush doll shaped like a toilet is an Asian export? No way – nothing weird ever comes out of Asia!
Product Page ( $24.95 )
According to the product site, these Cow Pie Clocks were “organically grown” and “dropped in Utah.” That’s right, these clocks are made from actual cow shit.
And if that wasn’t funny enough, check out the picture of the crazy looking chick holding one of these clocks after the break – it’s priceless. She has this look on her face that screams “thanks for the Cow Pie Clock…asshole .”
Product Page ( $39.95 – $49.95 )
