(GeekTyrant via GAS)
santa
Winter is coming, and unless you want to suck on a beer pop this Holiday season, you may want to wrap your beloved brew up in some Santa duds so it stays at a reasonable temperature (and so your hand doesn’t freeze to the bottle). Then you can rename Santa “Pabst Claus” or “Bud Claus”. It’ll be Christmas with an Alabama twist.
Product Page: ($8)
Few people know the story of Frank the Reindeer. He tried out for the team, but he lacked “star quality”, and his name was all wrong for the image that Santa was trying to convey to the public. Second, he wasn’t the best flier. He was down on his luck though, and Santa found it in his heart to give him a job anyway. Sometimes Frank wishes he hadn’t.
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The recipient will love the two bottles of wine you give them but will love the Santa Pants wine bag even more. They may actually pause for two seconds to admire it before tossing it aside to get at the alcohol.
Product Page ($9.99)
It’s like a more realistic Mr. Hanky. Yeah, this is a horrible gift, but it could be worse. Take solace in knowing that the person who gave it to you could have easily put a little Santa hat on an actual turd.
Product Page (£5 or $8)
Don’t let one whiny and skeptical kid ruin Christmas for all the other children. If one kid tries using a little too much common sense to question the existence of Santa, all you need to do is leave a bunch of clues around to counter it. That kid will have no reason to believe there is no Santa when he finds all this stuff left behind: glasses, a torn piece of red suit, a large coat button, a boot prints, a sleigh bell on a red ribbon, a toy list, reindeer hoof prints and Santa’s glove. Get yourself a little red and green crime scene tape to complete the illusion.
Product Page ($14.95)
Nothing particularly revolutionary about a Santa shaped USB flash drive. What I find very odd is the need to remove his pants in order to access the USB connector. It would have seemed a lot more appropriate if you had to remove the bag of toys, but apparently someone really wanted those pants off.
Product Page ($26.88)
Santa has to fund his workshop somehow, and that means selling out at a level that would even shock Disney.
Product Page: ($5)
Other than likely idealized descriptions of Santa Claus in Christmas carols, there is no good description of the real Santa Claus. I think this dragon rendition of Santa is much cooler than the generally accepted old coot. I know I am not going to argue with a Santa who breathes fire and has claws that could tear me to shreds. Your kids will have a lot more incentive to be good than just the possible loss of presents.
Product Page ($34.95)
Christmas is about family, generosity and wine. Lots of wine. But it isn’t just about the wine, it is about the Christmas themed show globe that you use to stop that bottle. The glasses of wine are just a sly excuse for giving that snow globe a few shakes every time.
Product Page (£2.25, about $3.50)
