We all know there are women out there that are into some seriously freaky stuff. And sure, bats, gophers, dogs, mice, beavers and emus may be fine for your average zoophile, but the truly adventurous save all their lovin’ for spiders. Why? Because they risk having a hideous man-spider like the one exemplified here. Not only that, but it would also require a womb of steel. Those wussy bulls, goats and horses will still have four legs when you cross-breed them, but the spidy baby will have eight legs kicking at any time; and God help you if you have twins. It will serve as a constant warning of the possible consequences of spider sex and help keep your urges in check. It hangs from a 27″ chain and measures 17″ x 9″ x 6″.
Product Page ($35)
We have seen fighting pens before, but this skeleton version is just a tad more menacing with its glowing red eyes and Terminator-like appearance.
Product Page ($8)
They say that man is the most dangerous game of them all. So, where can the hardcore hunter go after he has paid top dollar to bag himself a human or two on an obscure island in the Pacific run by an exotic, underground hunting operation? Aliens and vampires my friend…aliens and vampires. It’s not going to be easy, but you could cut corners and simply purchase the skulls to add to your trophy collection. Your hunting buddies will never know the truth. The vampire skull is pictured after the break.
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Glowing red LED eyes and the stage lights reflecting off the skeleton disco ball shower over the gymnasium floor. Rammstein’s Du Hast plays over the speakers. Romance is in the air.
Goth Kid: Hey, it’s a slow song. Wanna dance?
Product Page ($40)
Check out this Skeleton Grinder bank…toy…thingy. Apparently, you are supposed to fill up the millstone with some shampoo and water, turn it on, add a coin into the slot and watch as the skeleton grinds away shouting “money, money, money…I can do anything for you” (peppered with a bloodcurdling series of laughs). For added entertainment value, the turning of the millstone creates foam by agitating the soapy water, and the whole thing is topped off by a small light show.
There is a video after the break that should give you the gist—and if you are anything link me, you want your bizarre product demos backed by the smooth sounds of R&B.
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If your homeowners association doesn’t like pink flamingo lawn decorations, just think how they will feel about this Skel-E-Flamingo. These things look like pink flamingos that have been left out for far too long. Great for any time of year, skeletal birds never get old.
Product Page ($16.95)
With Halloween still a few weeks away there is plenty of time for you to pick up some ghoulish decorations. They don’t come much scarier than this human skeleton/spider/chandelier. Once you get this thing installed you will probably decide to leave it up all year long.
Product Page ($375)
The Skull and Bones eraser Set may be considered macabre by some, but I think if you you are doing anything you do it with some flair. And whipping out a bone to do some quick erasing is certainly one way to do that. The skull pencil topper is okay, but it is the bones that make this the perfect office or school accessory.
Product Page ($2.99)
These little plastic skeletons feature the faces of Fidel Castro and Mikhail Gorbachev. Why? Even the product site isn’t sure. But one thing is for certain – they are totally bizarre.
Friends, this is an opportunity of a lifetime. You have the chance to own one of the weirdest items in existence for less than a dollar. Buy these things, and for the rest of your life, you will be saying “I can’t believe I bought those things.”
And that’s what we are all about here at Nerd Approved. Helping you, the consumer, piss money away on retarded shit.
Product Page ( $0.99 )
