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Kill two birds with one stone by lathering up and shaving off excessive skin body hair at the same time with a refreshing bar of razor blade soap. It features a real rusty razor blade inside so make sure you have your tetanus shot up to date. And don’t worry, if you lose a nipple you can always find a replacement.
Product Page ($7)
Oooh…let Top Gear’s Stig drive all over your naked body with his very own line of bath products. Comes in body wash and soap on a rope varieties. I’m not sure what the soap smells like, but if I had to guess, it would be “burning tires.” The body wash version is available after the break.
When this grenade goes off, it will blow dirt and grime away and allow you to keep your hands and life, something that can’t be said for it’s more volatile brethren.
Product Page: ($10)
PB and J makes a great lunch and it makes a great soap as well. This handmade beauty will look so good you will have to make yourself a sandwich as soon as you finish rinsing. This soap has the crusts cut off as an unexpected bonus.
Product Page ($11)
Not that you need any reminders that mornings suck, but this bar of soap will greet you each day that you grudgingly get up. At least then you will have something to commiserate with, even if it is just a bar of soap.
Product Page ($7.99)
When you look at a food like haggis, you know exactly what you’re getting into, and normally it’s a dance party at Club Gag. However, that’s not the case with this cookies n’ milk soap, which looks delicious but is actually made from shea butter. So you’ve been warned….this soap is bad for eating, but great for scenting up the pits and taint.
Product Page: ($8)
Before you reach into your next box of animal crackers and get a mouthful of shea butter, I should warn you that they’re making animal cracker soaps now, and they taste like hammered ass. If your friends are human douche, they’ll probably try to get you to eat one without you knowing. Be sure to check them for lather before you get all worked up in one. Just sayin…
Product Page: ($4.99)
Before you ask, no, bacon soap isn’t scented like your favorite fatty killer, which is great if you’re washing your hands before eating something like cherries or citrus fruit. But if you’re about to get your mouth washed out with it, you’ll have to make due with subtle honey and vanilla aromas… no consolation there.
Product Page: ($24.95)
These handmade breakfast novelty soaps look and smell like the real thing. After washing up, you and anyone within smelling distance will be craving waffles and strawberry striped donuts. So, be warned—your good hygiene could lead to obesity.
Product Page ($10 For a Set of 2)
I can understand the smile on this sperm’s face, anytime he gets let loose everyone is happy. But I am thinking it is more natural for him to be washed off of bodies and not used as a cleanser. Believe me, if you can convince people that he is the better than soap then I think we would all be much happier.
Product Page ($6.95)
